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Hypnotherapy

How was 2020 a good year?

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How was 2020 a good year?

While the world was (and still is at the time of this writing) in crisis, in many ways for some, 2020 was actually a good year. In fact for many, it was one of the best ever. Myself included. 

People have realized what is really important in life. Life changes were made, some forced upon us, but for others it gave them time to reflect back. We had been so tired, or stuck in a rut or a pattern of unhealthy habits without a second thought. Feeling powerless to make a big change out of fear of the unknown. Many because of responsibility and obligation. When the rug gets pulled out from under us sometimes it takes that big upheaval to make much needed changes. 

Authors Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut, both of whom have been cited with versions of the quote “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down”

There is a saying that the universe will give you whispers, then it will shout at you, then if you still don’t move, you will get knocked off your feet:

“I needed to make you uncomfortable or else you wouldn’t have moved” – The Universe. 

Please make no mistake, I am not at all saying that all the loss, death, confusion and more, was a good thing. There is no denying that there has been so much seriously heartbreaking, anxiety and trauma inducing events and circumstances throughout the year. I am also not saying to bury your head in the sand and pretend it was all good. I am saying that there is still good in the world, and there is good that came from the storm. When the dust finally settles, and we can pick up the pieces, many will be in a much better place for it. 

My heart goes out to families of those who lost everything, including loved ones during this past year. I send my heartfelt condolences, love and prayers to each and every one of you. 

Let’s look at this past year as a lesson. To notice what we value, and where we spend our time and energy. Allow this time to motivate us to build ourselves, our families and our communities back up. Take this opportunity to give where you can, to count your own blessings, to remember you never know what someone is going through in their lives and families, now more than ever. 

On a personal level, ask yourself if you want 2021 to be the same as 2019 for your own life …. Where were changes needed, and what have you gained in life lessons and self awareness this past year? Several ways in which to self reflect; spend time alone in nature,  in meditation or prayer. Write it out, get clear with your inner voice, oftentimes writing will bring out things from deep within that you don’t expect. 

Self care is so important, not just physical health to help strengthen our immunity, but mental health care is also much needed at this time. Those who already had mental health issues have been finding this year much harder to handle, and those that had no mental health issues are now finding themselves depressed, or anxious. 

Hypnotherapy is very helpful to relieve stress, to  get clarity with your inner self, your own values and help to motivate you to do better. Break old patterns and habits. Please keep in mind nothing is a cure all and not one type of treatment or therapy works for all. It’s important to do your own trial and error, self study with patience and diligence to find your own best treatments. The complementary treatments and ‘tool box’ approach is great for many, combining different methods to help you get the best results. 

Please feel free to reach out with any questions, concerns or to schedule a free consultation. Thank you for reading this and being here. 

Please take care. 

Pamela Topjian LVN, CHt 

Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

HypnoBreathrough.com 

Your Story Matters

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Tell your story, I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m saying it will be worth it. 

Write out your story. It may be hard, it may be grueling, you may need a break, or several. However it’s therapeutic. You can do it in your own time, no rush, no deadline. 

Vulnerability is truth and it’s authentic. It’s helpful  to put it out there and say ‘ this is who I am, this is my life and this is why I am the way I am today.’ Rather; this is how I got to where I am today.

More importantly, it’s helpful for you to see reasons for the decisions you made, reasons that you can see more clearly as you write it out. Patterns and realizations that are right there in front of you,  in “black and white” so to speak. 

That will help you to feel more in control. Which in turn helps you to feel that you have grown and will do better. That you can now recognize red flags – whether it’s in relationships or a job or the toxicity of others around you. How you self sabotage or family patterns that keep you stuck.

To write it out is sort of a release that you cannot explain until you do it for yourself. You may think this is a common story, many have lived through these similar things, or much worse. Yes that’s all true, but your own story is unique. Those that are going through something similar may see your story and realize they are not alone. They may realize they too can write it out for others or themselves. To see how others have coped or been able to get themselves back to some sort of normalcy, or even happiness gives hope to those still in low areas of their lives. 

You may even think, I know my story all too well and I don’t need to write it out. I’m telling you it is different to know than it is to write. Again, It’s not easy, but well worth it. 

I recently wrote out my own story. I’m not one to talk about myself much, but with clients I found myself telling them I can understand, I know how that feels etc. A couple have encouraged me to write out my own story. It helps them to know their hypnotherapist really does know what its like to live through some tough times. I wanted it to be just the pain points, just the basic gist – but it ended up being three parts. Three long blog posts. Whether anyone reads all three or not, it was cathartic, and even therapeutic. Well worth it and why I suggest you do the same. 

Links to three blog posts telling my story: 

Part one: 

My Own Story (part one)

Part two: 

My Story (Part two)

Part three:

My Story; The conclusion. (part three)

I was already in the process of writing an autobiography, knowing it would be years until it was ready for publishing but working on it. Through writing that out, in part,  I was able to start to remember things that were hidden in my subconscious. 

I empowered myself by writing it all out. Realizing what I’ve been through and how my life could have gone, but went in a positive direction instead. Honestly, I’m proud of myself for that.  Dreams do come true, even when you feel helpless and hopeless, its possible, and I’m living proof. 

I do hope this was beneficial to you. Thank you so very much being here and reading this. If you have any questions or would like to share your story with me I’d love to hear it. I promise to never share your information with anyone. Whether you’re a client of mine or not. Everything is completely confidential. Any ideas or something else you would like to see my write about please feel free to let me know. 

If you’re having trouble remembering your story, or have childhood issues that you need to release, please consider hypnotherapy. Only you can heal yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

Much love and gratitude always, 

Pamela Topjian CHt 

HypnoBreakthrough.com

You Have Already Made it Through 100 Percent of Your Dark Days.

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Chances are pretty high that you will make it through whatever you’re going through now.

If you’re reading this, you already made it through some dark times, even your worst. The chances are pretty high that you will make it through this one, or the next one too. Your survival rate to this point is 100%!

What some consider their darkest days can be very different from what others experience. It’s like pain – you cannot compare or think that someone didn’t have it so bad or that your situation  is, or was, so much worse. Or that they have it so much worse than you and you must be weak  and so on. It’s not a contest, and there is no measurement. The truth is,  we will all at some point go through what we consider to be our darkest days. This is part of the human experience. Most of us go through some awful time and think that was the worst we will have to endure. Only to later in life experience something even more dark and traumatizing. If you can make it out, you have proved to yourself how strong you are, how resilient you are. Own that, latch onto it if you need to. Wow, I never thought I would be where I am now or even, looking back I cannot believe I did or didn’t do this or that…. Whatever it is, allow yourself to be proud of even the small steps. The one constant thing is change, wherever you are there is hope and a big chance that change is coming. 

If you know me you know I love my metaphors, but they are so true! The mighty oak tree will grow its roots deeper and stronger through every storm. I absolutely believe it’s the same for us. “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” but that which doesn’t kill you will also make you more humble and compassionate. It will also help you to begin to help others going through similar situations. Once you can truly empathize and say to someone, “I know, I’ve been there”, you can really help someone believe in themselves, and therefore have hope. Of course some will not think that you really know, and you really can’t know exactly, but you can say “I’ve been through some dark times, and never thought I’d live to tell about it, but I did, and I have faith that you will too.”

If you can share your story you never know how many you inspire and help along the way. I am currently watching a new podcast you tube channel Back On Track Podcast  with many such inspiring stories. I have my own and may see if they want to share mine as well. 

I wholeheartedly believe that going through some really rough times in my life has helped me to be much better at what I do to help others. 

What are some ways you have made it through? Please feel free to share. 

As for me, I did utilize those crisis text lines. (Crisis text lines: US and CA  741-741 UK 85258) I made a big move, sold just about all my possessions and got on a bus across the country and I did what I could to not have to be a single woman on the streets. I did house and pet sitting and in home caregiving jobs. I have regrets that I could have, or should have done better. However, I’m very proud of myself that I was able to stay off the streets, never turned to any substance and was able to help others in a small way at least, in the process. I received therapy and yes, vented a lot on social media.

I did not talk very openly or deeply with friends and family, which I now wish I would have. I know we are embarrassed or can feel like a burden, but your loved ones, be them friends or family can be very helpful, even if it’s just a listening ear. Please don’t assume that those that ignore you or don’t respond are not your “real friends” or don’t care. They may be going through so much themselves they can’t handle any more at that moment. They may feel helpless and unsure how to help. So you may need to tell your loved ones that you just need to vent or to not be alone, or that you need some food and are not in any condition to go out or cook/prepare anything  – or maybe even to take you out to go for a walk. Be sure they know that you’re not asking them to solve your issues. Reaching out is so important and something I didn’t do enough. Please don’t suffer in silence.  

Pets and animals help us when we’re down, they also help to have something we need to do, to get us out of bed. Growing things, taking care of plants even can be helpful. Of course we have all heard this, but I have to mention getting outside, staying hydrated and making sure you’re eating, better yet, eating healthy. Reading, music, journaling etc. 

I do know all too well, in the darkest days (and mostly nights) we can be paralized, so wracked with fear, anxiety, panic even, so depressed that self care is the last thing we think about. 

Of course Hypnotherapy will help you through as well. I do offer one free sample session to see how it feels and if its right for you. I do many phone sessions so you can stay in bed and not have to worry about going anywhere, complete privacy and if you have pets, they love the sessions too  – just set the appointment, let me call you and you just put me on speaker or wear earbuds. Please see my *article archived from June about what hypnotherapy is and what to expect in a session with me.  * What is Hypnotherapy? http://hypnobreakthrough.com/index.php/2020/06/20/what-is-hypnotherapy/

So, you have made it through your darkest times, congratulations! You do deserve to pat yourself on the back, and accept my virtual pat on the back as well. 

Please know you can make it through whatever life throws at you!

I do hope this has helped some of you. Please let me know, what has helped you, or share your  story. Comment below or send a message if you’re more private. Your confidentiality is always respected. I am a nurse as well, and hold high HIPAA standards for all my clients. I have a contact form on the home page, and I welcome emails as well – Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com I love hearing from you all. 

Thank you so much for being here. 

Pamela Topjian LVN, CHt (Certified Hypnotherapist)

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

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Why do some men hide their emotions? I certainly don’t want to generalize, many men are very open emotionally, and share with their loved ones and even seek professional help when needed. However the sad fact is that still, many men hide their emotions.

Here are some thoughts on some of the reasons….

Men and boys have been encouraged and programed to be emotionless. Going back to the days of cavemen, when they had to protect the family, elders, and maybe even a community, from wildlife and other dangers. Men were the hunters and protectors. Facing danger daily and comforting others, helping them to feel secure and safe. Even if he himself was afraid. 

This has been passed down over all these years. Men have had a hard time through history showing and sharing emotions. 

This leaves modern day women wondering why he is “emotionally unavailable” or as the title asks, “why can’t you share your emotions?” 

This too, has been going on for years in civilization as the roles have equalized somewhat. 

Men are taught to hide their emotions

We have been conditioning our boys from way back. “Man up” “big boys don’t cry” and many other hurtful comments that are meant to give strength to the men but more often than not is just doing more harm than good in these modern times. 

This can lead to some men shutting down, being emotionally unavailable, or being uncomfortable around the emotions of others. Worst case scenario many have turned to alcohol or drugs to numb the feelings, diseases can start from knots in the stomach with pent up emotions and holding on to hurts, and emotional pain for a very long time. 

We need to be very aware of how we speak to boys. Be aware of ourselves what our own expectations are with the men in our lives. To be open and encouraging to the men in our lives to show their emotions. Pressure or pushing won’t help, these emotional blocks run deep. A kind “I Know you’re hurting, I’m here if you need to let it out” “it’s okay to let it out, I’m here for you, you’re safe with me, I love you” Remind the men in your life that you are their partner, to share the load and they can take a mental health day, they can go for help if needed. 

Recognize when anger, avoidance/distance, or heavy drinking may be a cry for help, or at least a sign of emotions that he just doesn’t know what to do with. 

There has been a recent shift in many areas, and groups, and this is great! However it’s slow going, because these sayings and expectations are so deeply ingrained from so far back.

We need to do better for the emotional wellbeing of all. Children, wives, mothers, friends and other family, have all been deeply hurt by the lack of, or avoidance of emotions by the men in their lives, not to mention the men themselves.  This is by no means to suggest all men have these same issues, there are many men very emotionally comfortable and available.

We are all connected and by healing ourselves, we help to heal others. 

We can work on this by being comfortable when others show emotions, just comfort the other with your presence or a hug, no need to try to get them to stop or make them laugh or offer a distraction. Allow the emotions to come through, and just “hold space” in honor of them. Be careful not to sound like your dad or grandfather or a coach, when another man or boy is trying to hide their emotions or shed a tear. Sometimes words come out almost on autopilot, be sure they get filtered before they are allowed out of the mouth and into the mind of another.

Do this for yourself as well. It does take practice and may be very uncomfortable at first, but the more you do this, the easier it becomes. 

As you become comfortable with the emotions of others, you eventually become comfortable with your own. You then become an example and model for others, and the younger generations. We often plant seeds unknowingly. The smallest action, word or lack thereof, can change lives. 

I have great faith in the power of hypnotherapy. Phone sessions help those that may otherwise shy away from seeking help or any form of therapy. 

Hypnotherapy helps to facilitate deep transformations, without having to relive or tell all. You will go deep within, it’s an inside job, not something you put out on the table to get answers from another. Hypnotherapy helps untie knots that are so deep and that go so far back, you may not even realize they are there, until you feel the relief after they are untied.

Sessions are available evenings and weekends, over the phone or zoom in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Please see the testimonials page, most of those are from phone sessions. Consultations are always free and will include a basic sample session upon request. Use the contact form on the home page or email me directly at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com to schedule your free consultation. 

Please always feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.  I’d love to hear what you think about this article, or the others. What have you found to be helpful?

Thank you so much for being here, and for reading.

Pamela Topjian CHt