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What Does It Mean To Live Authentically?

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What does it mean to be your authentic self?

Authenticity, simply said, is being true to you. In all situations and circumstances in life. More importantly however, its being true to you – TO YOU.  Within yourself, regardless of the outside world or your loved ones. 

True To YOU

Does who you are feel right within your heart and soul? If not, it may feel like you live with a constant lump or knot in your throat or stomach. 

Living authentically, being true to who you are, is helpful for all of us to self reflect on. I would like to talk about the transgender community, and/or LGBTQ+ community. There is nobody who understands better about living authentically, and how denying yourself this truth, can be detrimental to your entire being.

There are some song lyrics by a trans male that was in a documentary “Real boy” years ago, Bennett Wallace. Sharing just a few that are thought provoking here:  ‘If the only truth you have is that you’re living a lie, and if time won’t free the pain that you’ve held hostage in your mind fear not my love….if the skin your soul embodies doesn’t seem to fit quite right… “

Suicide rates are high for the LGBTQ+ community. There is still so very much misunderstanding, assumptions and judgements being made. Trans kids are out there, and in fact many (if not all or most) transgender people know well before puberty, and most often is not related to romantic or sexual attraction. Many transgender people  may not know exactly what’s going on at age 6 or by age 11, but they do know they aren’t who the rest of the world perceives them to be. Many will hide their true selves, being afraid to ask questions or tired of being told to act more like a man or a lady. Very often will start substance abuse or self harming at an early age. That then becomes the issue, when at its core,  its all much deeper. It’s about feeling right within yourself, and valued, if not at least just acceptance by the world for who you are on the inside. Without having to hide, or pretend or be judged or ridiculed by those who don’t understand. 

You don’t need proof to know who you are, because you know within your soul. You don’t need to know how to explain it to others, or be a scientist ,doctor or professor – it’s not your job or responsibility to educate others. Point them to some good resources if you like, or ask them nicely to do the research. Just because what you have felt inside most of your life does not mean that you are able to or need to explain it to others. 

Family/friends you don’t have to fully understand to be supportive, to love who people are no matter the physical body. So many things in life, no one can possibly fully understand that without having gone through it, and that’s okay.  Giving birth for example; Fathers and adoptive moms can still support the one giving birth, love the baby and love the one that birthed the baby.

Are you able to love your child, your partner, friend without fully understanding? If not, that is within you, and not them. If you do, then do your research if you want to try to understand better, without judgment or making assumptions. Without being upset with them for just wanting to live authentically. Even without doing research, just basic acceptance and unconditional love. Loving the whole person should not have anything to do with their gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

To sum up, please feel free to live as your authentic self. Whether or not it relates to gender. Many of us have had life experiences that didn’t seem a good fit for our soul, a job, a partner a place. Imagine feeling that within your own skin, your own body. When something feels off, trust that. I’m not at all saying here that if you don’t feel right or feel lost within yourself that you may be transgender. There are a variety of reasons one may feel unsure of who they are or the need to hide their true self. I use the example of transgender and the LGTBQ+ community as those who may know this feeling all to well.

Hypnotherapy can help people to gain confidence, to gain clarity or inner guidance. Most importantly to gain self love. 

If you are feeling lost unsure who you truly are, no matter your age, sex, gender identity, religion anything at all – if you are human but feel lost within yourself. Or have a poor self worth because of who you are at your core. Please reach out. You don’t have to live the rest of your life in that state of mind. There are several types of counseling, therapy and treatments. I never want anyone to feel I’m pushing hypnotherapy because I am a hypnotherapist. I want everyone to live their best life, to feel empowered to know they are worthy of living their authentic selves, and to your highest potential, no matter how you arrive at that. There is always hope and always help. It may take patience and diligence to find a right fit, but it is worth it. 

Please feel free to reach out with any questions or comments. Anything to add or discuss. I love to hear from you all. I can be reached here on the homepage of my website Breakthrough Hypnotherapy, through the contact form. Or by direct email at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com 

Consultations for hypnotherapy are always free of charge with no obligation whatsoever. A sample session is included so you know how it feels before you make any commitments. 

Thank you so much for being here. 

Take care, inside and out. Pamela Topjian

Recovery

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Recovery: The Merriam Webster’s definition of recovery is: 1.The act or process of becoming healthy after an illness or injury : the act or process of recovering. 2. the act or process of returning to a normal state after a period of difficulty. 3.the return of something that has been lost, stolen, etc

A few words on addiction and recovery from a “Normie” …. During my career as a licensed nurse, I have worked in a few different capacities of detox and recovery. Working overnights I had the opportunity to have some deep heartfelt conversations with a few of the clients/patients in my care. Even after having had family members go through this, I was surprised and amazed at the strength it took and the stigma felt for the rest of their lives. 

This is what I know for sure.

Although relapse can be part of the process, by getting to the root causes of addiction, relapse can be prevented. However, relapse does not in any way diminish your success. There is nothing to be ashamed of at all. I know that it takes a lot of courage to reach out and to stick it through. It takes so much strength to go through the physical and mental pain, not to mention literal blood, sweat and tears (and vomit)  of detox. It takes strength to close doors behind you, before you see others opening in front of you.

There is so much stigma and shame related to addiction, and recovery. Lives are changed, and not always for the better in the short term.  Sometimes it’s only in the long run that lives change for the better. The stigma (even within oneself with guilt, regret and shame) It takes courage, diligence and patience to continue on just for you.  Even when loved ones may not be supportive. They may or may not begin to trust again, and that’s okay. I know that no one can do it for you, no one can help you, until you want it for yourself. It’s way too hard to go it alone. Only you can heal within yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

Unfortunately many of the facilities and treatment centers do more harm than good. In too many ways to mention here. Many are not in the “business” of recovery for the care and treatment of those reaching out for help. This can break the focus and motivation of those that sincerely want to heal. This breaks my heart and this is a big part of why I do what I do. Please don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch, or turn you off away from seeking help. There are some good treatment centers and facilities out there. There is not just one way to go about recovery, you absolutely have to get to the root cause, change the mindset from deep within. Recovery should not feel like a punishment but more of an awakening.

Normie?

I have never been an addict myself. I have been called a “Normie”  almost as an insult. I get it, I dont’ have the experience of addiction within myself. Even those that do, no two people are alike. No two stories are exactly the same. However when It comes to addiction, I do have another perspective, which is just as important.

The experience I do have, as mentioned above, is that of living with family members with drug and alcohol addiction. Working hard, bending over backwards to my own detriment to try to “help” them while they were abusive and self sabotaging. The painful feeling I already lost them, they’re already gone, never to return as I once knew them. Grief, loss and heartache as the mother and wife of addicts gives me another perspective that I do think is valid and can be helpful. 

Recovery

My own personal experience with recovery is from PTSD and CPTSD from a traumatic childhood. As well as a complete breakdown later in life after leaving an abusive husband. I know what it’s like to go through deep depression, and high anxiety. Living down in a deep dark debilitating hole. I know what it’s like to have nightmares and night terrors, to not be able to think straight or remember parts of my life. To have flashbacks of abuse, not just in my dreams, but in my waking state, and even while driving. I know what fear is, regret and to feel so alone in the world, to wish I could disappear. Calling hotlines in the middle of the night. Having friends ask “what’s the matter NOW?” Feeling that no one really understands or cares.

I do have those experiences. However, I also know the feeling of that moment I realized I was going to make it! Make it out of that dark place, not just to live “normally” but building back up to an even better, happier and fulfilling life than I ever knew before. The feeling of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Pamela Topjian Painting “Breakthrough”

This is why I do this.

Yes I’m a licensed nurse, and certified Hypnotherapist, but more importantly I am passionate about showing everyone that is in a deep dark place in life, to see the light as I did. I want those people, young and old, from all walks of life fighting in recovery, to know there is hope, to know they can make it and there are options. Recovery, no matter what from, is possible. 

I cannot do it for you, no one can. I don’t want you to feel that I, nor anyone else, ever helped you or healed you. I want to guide you to the light within yourself. 

More to come

I would like to address in a future article, about being your authentic self and being true to you. As well as a subgroup of recovery, when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community as well. Update, here is the article: What Does It Mean To Live Authentically

How not being accepted or feeling at home in your own skin or body can lead to mental health issues and addiction. It comes down to judgements and acceptance, understanding and love. I have a very special friend that has lived through this, and shares his genuine passion to help others through his own research and experiences to help end this stigma and shame. Lona Currie of Recovery Soulfood and TransgenderMentor (on YouTube, twitter, Instagram, TicTok and facebook).  Check out my interview on his channel Recovery Soulfood, Using the subconscious mind to heal the soul. Leave a comment and while you’re there if you like what you see, please show your support with a like and subscribe! He is a part of the LGBTQ+ and recovery “Soul Family”. We’re planning a collaboration to reach further to those that may be hiding in the shadows.  Update, here is our collaboration podcast to help with compassion, awareness and dispel any misconceptions, misunderstandings with a safe place to get talk about those important topics. YouTube.com/TransgenderMentor

Please feel free to reach out if you have any thoughts on this, anything to add or with questions or concerns. 

You can reach me at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or the contact form on the homepage of my website Breakthrough Hypnotherapy