“I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore Since…”

“I don’t know who I am anymore” 

Have you found yourself feeling this same way? This is such a common sentiment of middle aged or older women. Men as well, however I hear this more so from women. So many possible reasons or circumstances that cause people to feel this way;

I don’t know who I am anymore since …… 

the kids went to college,

moved out on their own, married or even,  

since ‘they don’t need me anymore.’

I don’t know who I am anymore since….

I retired, 

my injury/illness (mental or physical)

my divorce or 

my spouse passed away. 

Can you relate with any of these feelings? What have you found that helps? Do you feel all alone in these feelings? I’m here to tell you that this is all very common, and you definitely are not alone. 

Well meaning loved ones may try to offer help by giving you advice, inviting you out, or suggesting you get involved in other activities. Some may remind you that this is your time to relax and enjoy yourself, to put your feet up, get involved in other interests, or travel. Not bad advice at all, and some of it may help. However, the feelings and the emotions may still be there. Those feelings hinge on depression, or anxiety. Those emotions may be a big component of depression or anxiety. 

There may also be issues from childhood, or a traumatic experience earlier in life, that were buried deep, and suppressed as long as you were busy with the kids/family/spouse/career. These could possibly be resurfacing now that you don’t have these other commitments to fill your days with. You may not even be aware. This is a good journaling prompt, or focus for meditation, or some inner child work.

I am a board certified hypnotherapist, and of course I’m going to let you know that hypnotherapy is a great way to help. It’s not just a way to feel a little better, but to gain clarity, self confidence, motivation, and release old wounds or limiting beliefs. (and much more)

However I’m not here to convince you to try hypnotherapy, or even say its the only, or best way to get through these trying times. I’m here to assist you on your healing journey back to wellness. Back to self, inside and out. (The mind-body connection really is so strong) 

Other lifestyle factors contribute to feelings of being unmotivated, or lost within your self and your life. You may be thinking it’s too big a task to tackle at this time to think about quitting smoking, sugar or alcohol. To try to get better sleep, eat better, add some exercise and a form of spiritual practice into your life. These things are all related to your mental health and overall well being too. They’re all connected. They are not separate dishes on the menu, but all part of the same soup. The mind-body wellness soup! (I do love analogies, afterall it is soup season – at the time of this writing) 

There are more traditional (or I should say conventional) routes you can try, as well as some energy healing, ancient and/or newer types of holistic therapies that all can be very helpful.

Counseling, talk therapy, CBT ( cognitive behavioral therapy) EFT (Emotional freedom Technique), NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programing) , EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)  Reiki, polarity, yoga, Qi-gong, acupuncture, acupressure, sound therapy, art therapy… and many others. 

It’s good to look into a few different wellness options that sound interesting and explore on your own. It may take patience and diligence to find what’s best for you. It’s also a great idea to have a few modalities in your tool box to pull out as needed. Nothing is best or right for everyone. 

What works well for your friend or neighbor may not be what works well for you. 

I offer Hypnotherapy which uses Hypnosis in a therapeutic model, by gently guiding you within yourself to relax the physical body, and quiet the busy conscious mind, to address the subconscious mind. This is done through relaxation techniques, specific wording and sometimes visualization techniques. Very much like a guided meditation, however the focus is deeper. I also offer spiritual guidance to find your own spiritual path from within yourself. (This is not about religion, although it can be, it’s about finding what’s right and true for you from within your own heart and soul) 

If you’re interested in working with me, or have any questions, contact me (Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com). I always offer free consultations to address any concerns, or questions you may have. A complimentary sample session is offered during the consultation as well, if you’re interested in trying it out before you make any commitments. Find a contact form, and more information here: HypnoBreakthrough

I hope this helps, even knowing that you are not alone, that your feelings are valid, and that there is hope can bring a little relief. 

Thank you so much for reading and sharing in this time and space with me. 

Please take care, inside and out! Pamela Topjian CHt