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Meditation.

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Are you one of those people that feel like you can’t meditate or have tried meditation to no avail?

So many of us have heard how important it is to meditate, or how life changing it could be. Just as many of us have had a hard time, even with guided meditations to quiet our minds at all. 

I have been meditating for years. The times I needed it most were the times it was the most difficult. In the beginning I had to work myself up from guided meditations to focused meditations to quiet still meditations. 

I am now able to just sit quietly and still my mind. However I still will do a focused meditation or a guided meditation. They all have their place and differences. 

If you’re one of those people who always has some mental chatter going on, your mind always has some internal dialog, you may not be able to just decide to be quiet and have that “work” Then you feel that you just can’t meditate. I hear it almost daily, “I can’t meditate” or “I tried and it doesn’t work for me” 

Let’s discuss what meditation is, and different types. 

According to merriam-webster dictionary 

Meditate:

  1. To engage in contemplation or reflection.
  2. To engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one’s breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. 

Nowhere does this definition mention quietness or stillness. I’m sure some definitions in other places do mention a quiet or still mind. 

We tend to think of a guru in the lotus position, maybe even up on a mountain top, in robes with a long beard, or bald head. 

Meditation, in my mind, is more about inward reflection, or attention. There are no hard and fast, black or white rules to meditation. You do not have to sit in a certain position, you don’t even have to be still. Many people get caught up in doing it “right”. 

One of my own paintings of a hiking trail.

Walking meditations or even some forms of music/sound therapy, and art therapy have a lot to do with meditation. When I paint I absolutely lose myself in the process. I’m not a great artist but I do get a lot out of the process of putting paint on canvas. You can be so focused on something, that you go into a meditative state, and you forget the time, or what’s going on around you while in that focused activity. That is absolutely a form of meditation. Walking a labyrinth is a known type of walking prayer, or meditation, but walking anywhere can be as well. Focus on a candle flame, an image or a word is also a form of meditation. Focusing on your breath is another very well known and valid form of focused meditation. Guided meditations are where you are listening to a recording, or a facilitator talk you into a state of relaxation (much like the beginning of a hypnotherapy session. I’ll get into how hypnotherapy and guided meditations differ in the next article) 

So, in a guided meditation, you are following directions and able to relax by focusing on the instructions to soften and smooth your muscles, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath ….. etc. Once you know how that feels and are easily able to go into that relaxed state, you are better able to give yourself the directions, and once you get there, to let go. Even for just a bit, to hold onto that feeling. Then you may be able to do a focused meditation on your own. Light a candle and just focus on the flame, or hold a picture in your mind or a word. Such as a butterfly, an animal or a flower or the word love or peace. Pay attention to your breath or your heartbeat.

Do not beat yourself up, or get frustrated when another thought enters your mind, this is perfectly normal. Notice the thought, rather than resist, or push it away. Just allow the thought in, and let it go. If it helps, you can imagine the thought on clouds, and watch them come in, and float or fade away, or on a leaf floating down a stream, and being carried away. 

It’s the expectations and frustrations that keep us from continuing with meditation practice. 

I hope this article has helped you some. Like most other things that are worthwhile, it takes patience and diligence to get to where you’re comfortable and it just comes natural for you. 

If you have any questions, or are interested in hypnotherapy to help you experience that quiet still mind or deep relaxation, maybe for the first time ever, contact me for a free consultation. 

Please take care inside and out,    Pamela Topjian

Hypnotherapy and Pregnancy

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How can hypnotherapy benefit you before pregnancy, during pregnancy and postpartum?

When we hear the term Hypnotherapy in relation to pregnancy, we may think of a type of hypnotherapy called ‘HypnoBirthing’. Many Doulas specialize in this, and are worth looking into for a holistic approach. 

I am focusing here more on the time before pregnancy, during pregnancy and postpartum, rather than just during the birthing process. Although, even without using a specific hypnobirthing specialist, the relaxation techniques, healthy pregnancy and stress reduction will absolutely help reduce pain and fears during labor and birth as well. 

Hypnotherapy is highly effective for reducing stress and depression. Also, to help implement healthy lifestyle habits, such as eating better, better quality sleep, quitting smoking, or other addictions. Hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind to release blocks and limiting beliefs that may keep you from living a healthy lifestyle. 

Long before my nursing career, and Hypnotherapy training, I had apprenticed with home birth midwives. The mind-body connection is so strong. I have seen examples of this while working with midwives and pregnant mothers. Stress and worry in any mammal can cause physical health issues that are not conducive to healthy mother and baby. Including everything from loss of sleep, stress eating, smoking, drinking even infertility, (discounting any medical issues) to delayed labor, and lactation issues as well. 

It truly is amazing how much our mind can affect our bodies. Imagine being able to release blocks that may be buried deep within your subconscious and the impact that this would have on  trying to conceive. Oftentimes, individuals work with a medical team when trying to conceive, and it is not uncommon for the team to mark the cause as ‘unknown’. The challenge may not be medical after all. Many women are left with feelings of inadequacy, or that their body has failed them. This may also then cause them to to have trouble breastfeeding or conceiving another child. It’s a whole domino effect that starts with stress. Sometimes something as simple as hearing our mothers talk in our childhood about how hard labor was, and we have internalized this, without even realizing this block or limiting belief is buried deep within our subconscious. 

If you’re trying to conceive , even though the medical team cannot find a medical reason, before you try invasive and costly treatments, give hypnotherapy a try. We can release blocks that may be buried deep within your subconscious, even if you don’t know they’re there and implement healthier lifestyle habits as well.

If you worry about everything during pregnancy, from what you eat, the air you breathe, or even the responsibility of parenting,  rather than enjoying this time, Hypnotherapy can help to ease your fears, and develop confidence, inner strength and inner peace by relaxing the physical body, quieting the conscious mind, and adraddress the subconscious mind to release, the blocks and heal. It’s hard to understand the feeling, and how it works before you experience it for yourself. This is why I always offer a sample session within the free consultation. 

If you have an unhealthy habit you’re having a hard time letting go of, whether you’re trying to conceive or currently pregnant; Hypnotherapy can help you to develop healthier eating habits, quit smoking or drinking or other addictions. Even learning to fully relax, let go and manage pain. So many ways Hypnotherapy is beneficial for couples, and moms trying to conceive, in pregnancy and the new parents. 

For more information please contact me for a free consultation. Although I reside in northern California I work with clients all over  the U.S. Let’s have a chat, get any questions or concerns addressed, and you can even have a sample session to see how it feels for you before you make any commitments. 

I have a couple of friends I would like to mention that are doing great work in this area as well. (Please mention my name, when you reach out to these amazing women)

Laurel Segal. Owner and founder of The Seagull Nest, is a Postpartum doula, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Child Passenger Safety Technician and Lactation Educator and has an extensive history with infertility and challenges around trying to conceive. Unfortunately she didn’t know about hypnotherapy during her personal journey through infertility, She understands the challenges that go hand-in-hand with infertility and trying to conceive. She is passionate about helping others on this journey and throughout the process from conception to parenting. You can reach her at Laurel@Theseagullnest.com 

Sometimes the unthinkable does happen, the loss of a child is reality for many. This past loss can also prevent you from becoming pregnant, or be a  cause for repeated miscarriages if not healed. 

Monica Pleinis. Owner, founder of Compassionate healing hypnotherapy, facilitates a program to help with the pain and grief of pregnancy and child loss. Monica has personal experience in the loss of a newborn, and has healed as much as one can through hypnotherapy as well as other healing modalities. She is passionate about helping others to heal from this personal heartache as well. She can be reached at m.martinez2@hotmail.com 

Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to reach out with any questions or to schedule your free consultation! You may send me a direct email at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or send a msg though the contact form at the bottom of the home page.

Please take care, inside and out.

Pamela Topjian

My Portrait Session

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I had a portrait session with MartinJon

The session:

It’s a conversation that feels at times, like friends talking, and at times like a counseling session. He will ask you to speak on aspects of your life, and is acutely aware of the words spoken, your expressions, and which ones hold energy. All while he is creating your portrait. One helps to facilitate the other. The portrait comes from the discussion more than trying to get the details of your physical image. This is why the portrait has so much feeling. 

This is a true gift he has tapped into within himself, that he shares as a healing modality like no other. 

We discussed such things in my life such as, fears, parents, siblings, childhood, my own children, pets, career, physical issues, friendships… and more. I (we) connected some dots that I hadn’t realized even through EMDR therapy, or my own meditations.

So much to reflect on and meditate on.

My portrait session with Martin Jon

 

The portrait:

The portrait itself looks sad and a little angry. I hesitated to actually post it here. It’s not a glamor shot, or meant to be flattering, it’s meant to be real. To facilitate healing. It’s like a ‘dark night of the soul’ awaking. The other side of the mirror.

My first reaction when I saw it (in zoom/video call) I said to him “no smile” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Just an observation. I honestly had zero expectation, and was looking forward to the process more so than the actual portrait. MartinJon brought up that my first reaction was interesting, because I am a peacemaker and healer and I don’t want to make waves… (mostly) So..  I don’t cry and I don’t get very angry often, this isn’t a conscious effort, it just is a fact. So that’s pretty telling right there. 

The smile can be like a mask, or peace making. He saw through my nervous laughter, which I wasn’t aware of. It’s second nature at this point. I wasn’t trying to hide, as I mentioned, I absolutely was looking forward to the process, knowing it was going to be deep.

“Peace begins with a smile” – Mother Teresa

My inner self:

Maybe that’s who I really am inside. My inner self, my inner child surely is sad and angry. 

Before this, I wouldn’t have said, or thought I was angry as a child, or angry about my childhood. I am though, come to think about it, I feel betrayed. He used the word “Betrayal” and noted that I hadn’t said it at all throughout the session. I can’t remember a time I ever have used that word. It’s true though, starting at a very young age, throughout most of my life.

So connecting those dots (much more than I mention here) helps to overcome the deeply rooted stuff, the inner child stuff. It is a process, it’s a journey, a place to dig deep, feel, grow, and evolve. The portrait sitting is a catalyst and opportunity to get to the root, if you want, and are ready. He doesn’t force anything, or tell you what to do with this, all of this. This being the art, or the realizations. The work is within you. Much like Hypnotherapy. MartinJon’s work would be great to do before hypnotherapy! (or maybe after)

After the session I wrote some notes. Did some meditation, and worked with the Ho’oponopono prayer. 

In conclusion:

I highly recommend you try a portrait session with MartinJon, or the other services he has to offer. Link at the top of this article. (When you contact him, let him know you heard of him from me) This is deeper than you could imagine. I also cannot yet “conclude” anything because this work will continue. He is mailing the actual portrait to me, and we will see what comes up. There is an offer for anyone having a portrait session to go on to have more coaching sessions with him.

Thank you so much MartinJon for all you do for so many, this is life changing.

Conclusion of Contest

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At the end of June I ran a contest for my birthday, and one winner was chosen by random number generator online. The winner had 6 sessions 2x a week and here is the conclusion:

The focus was on a phobia the client had since childhood and it was negatively affecting their life, not daily but at least monthly. We did some techniques to release blocks and obstacles and some childhood regression and childhood connection sessions. 

We had a couple times that our sessions had to be rescheduled,and a recording was given in its place. Some homework was given as well. 

My client did notice some emotional responses, and some successes. They were able to have a chance to test out the phobia, and were able to carry it through. This is not a cure all, but a good start. 

This is the client’s response: 

“I told Pam I wanted to work on my claustrophobia during my sessions. We did them at night, which I really liked because they are so relaxing and aid in a good night’s sleep. 

The following day after a session,  I would wake up with energy – something I don’t normally do. As time went on, I would notice that I did not fear tackling things I would normally shy away from. I had a real sense of confidence and calm. 

I also was able to pinpoint exactly what my fear is…..being in a situation, relationship or job I do not feel I can escape easily. Is it a control issue?… I’m not sure. But I do feel more confident and maybe that’s the first step to healing.” – Suzanne P. (7/21 contest winner)

In conclusion; I agree, confidence is very helpful in healing. The client also told me they did not listen to the recorded sessions. I do think this would have helped with the focus for the sessions. This shows while it’s great to listen to guided meditations or recordings, actual contact with a person is much more helpful. If  nothing else, at least for accountability. We are much more likely to do something that we have planned with another.  I am so happy for the success, and realizations. I do feel this was something deeply rooted and with more sessions we would have more success for the phobia itself. Overall, I’m pleased with the outcome and was glad to be a facilitator towards finding more confidence within themselves.

So what do you all think? I Love offering Hypnotherapy to those that may not be otherwise able to have it, or may not reach out, but with a contest are more likely to try it. This was my first contest of it’s kind. One thing I think when I do another, that I may not just have it open to anything the winner would like to work on, but to have a more general, overall confidence, self love or stress reducing/relaxing sessions. This way the client/winner isn’t left hanging, so to speak if the amount of sessions wasn’t enough for the issue.

What Are Soul Contracts?

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What Are Soul Contracts and how to complete the contract.

Many people believe in past lives, (rebirth, reincarnation etc.) and with that, they also believe we are much more than our physical selves. I believe this. There is a technique of hypnotherapy to show you a past life: Past life regression. Dr. Brian Weiss and Dolores Cannon are two of many that have made this known more mainstream. 

However, soul contracts are more about the time before your life, or in between lives. Some believe, as I do, that we have a soul family, much like a soulmate; however people that are placed in your life on purpose to teach you something you need to know. Not necessarily ‘lessons’ , but to give you an experience for your better understanding of life. 

If you have ever been through something difficult that hurt you deeply, this situation was part of your soul contract. If you don’t want to repeat this, then step back to gain clarity on the reason. To gain understanding. Hypnotherapy can help with that. Writing it all out, journaling, and meditation can also help, or any combination. There are many ways to gain clarity on a situation. If you’re having triggers this is showing you where you need to step back and take a good look objectively. 

Our soul family, or soulmate are those we feel deeply connected to, usually as soon as we make contact, you feel drawn to this person, or some odd ‘coincidences’ or ‘twist of fate’ brings you together.  

Often these people are with you over many lifetimes. Some of these people are like thorns in your side, and you can’t seem to stop reliving or being triggered by their hurtful actions. These people can come in your life for just a month, or they can even be family! 

There is also a hypnotherapy technique to sever energetic cords or end contracts. Send these souls on their way thanking them for their lessons and sending them on their way with love and gratitude. This can also be done in meditation on your own. 

I have a guided meditation: Release soul contracts. This guided meditation is a good way to show you where to start if you’re new to meditation. If you watch, please feel free to leave a comment, and let me know how you felt afterwards, even come back after a few days to see if you notice anything. If you don’t want to be public with your experience I always welcome private messages on my social media, or via the contact form on my Breakthrough Hypnotherapy home page

As always I love hearing from you! If you have any suggestions for future articles or topics you’re interested in reading about here, (or more guided meditations on my YouTube Channel) please let me know.

Thank you so much for being here! Remember, consultations for hypnotherapy are always free of charge, and include a sample session so you can see how it feels before you make any commitments. 

Take care, inside and out! 

Pamela Topjian 

Motivation and Focus

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How can I become more motivated to reach my goals, more focused to stick to a routine or my to-do list? I hear this a lot! 

We all know what we “should” do each day. We all have a long to-do list, but why can’t we get it done, or why do we procrastinate? Is it our motivation, our focus, or our lack of discipline?

 Are you inspired, or motivated? Inspiration is internal, feeling called to do it,  motivation is external. When you’re inspired, motivation comes naturally, no resistance, no forcing. We get mad at ourselves, and that inner negative self-talk kicks in to reinforce the feeling of not being good enough, being lazy or worthless. 

A different perspective. Maybe you aren’t supposed to do all the things on your list alone or within an unrealistic expectation for one person? It may be an opportunity to learn to speak up for yourself, set boundaries, and stand in your power. Look where you can prioritize and delegate. Maybe you need more experiences in your life before that big dream or project can be completed. 

For instance; an inspirational person may come into your life, or you find a new book or podcast that makes a difference in your life somehow. You may even have an experience. Often it’s the unexpected, life changing experiences that show us our true calling, where our heart truly is. This may open more doors, or give you much more information and helpful tools to get that project done, or help you to achieve that dream. 

Personal example; when I started in Hypnotherapy in 2010 I never was able to get a business going full time. I had felt like a dream was lost for many years, feeling disappointed in myself. Then so many things happened in my life that have helped to shape me into a much better Hypnotherapist. Including an opportunity (along with a full on deja vu experience) for more education and certification. 

Just something to consider, this may be why you’re not working on that project or making that dream come true as fast as you would like. There may be more going on in your favor than you realize 

Deadlines, schedules, routines. Some people work better without deadlines, schedules, or routines. There is nothing wrong with that. Throughout our lives,  from almost day one, we’re told that it’s time for this, and time for that…. We don’t all work best that way.  We have different times of day that we’re more productive than others. Some do much better on night shift jobs than day shift jobs. 

Why not do 3 days worth of that 10 day course when you feel excited to do it, rather than fall behind because you just don’t feel like doing it every day. Don’t kick yourself or give up, because you’re not doing it according to some timeline. (unless required to of course)

Society pushes us to believe routine and schedules keep us on track and moving forward. For many that is the case, and you may want to use fancy or fun color coded appointment books, or organizer apps. Add on your list, some fun things, or self care routines. 

For just as many others, it’s limiting for us. If you feel like or are more motivated creating or working or whatever it is, at 3 am, do it. Know yourself and what keeps you feeling good about the work or creative endeavours that you hope to achieve. Is the schedule helping, or keeping you feeling bad about yourself for not sticking to it? 

Of course we have things we absolutely have to do to live, and sometimes we have trouble staying motivated or focused. You may need to prioritize. The vacuuming can be done another day, the laundry may need to come first, the bills must be paid, etc. What can you do to make these tasks less daunting? Think out of the box, or out of your comfort zone even for some of it. Put things on auto pay, order your groceries to be delivered, ask for help without feeling guilty, and apologizing. 

What do you have no problem completing, or what on the to-do list do you love to do? Sometimes with tasks that need to be done, it’s helpful to tie it to something enjoyable, have some candy guilt free, or play some upbeat music during the task. How many of you love to clean while dancing around the house with the music blaring? 

Step back. Where you have trouble with motivation or focus, is where you need to step back and rethink. What are you resisting and why? Is there something from your past that keeps you in resistance to this? Take a good look within. Step back and ask yourself, why are you resisting these things? When did you think they were so important, did someone else tell you that, or put the responsibility on you? Were you called lazy or never felt validated for the work you completed? Were you criticized for your projects and interests in the past? 

Hypnotherapy is one way to help with releasing those blocks and obstacles that are holding you back. Limiting beliefs stuck deep down in your subconscious from long ago. 

What ways tips have you found helpful in staying focused, or motivated when procrastination takes over, or the job/project seems overwhelming? Feel free to leave a comment.

Please always feel free to reach out with any questions, or concerns. I love to hear from you all – what other ideas do you have for a future article? Are you interested in finding out if Hypnotherapy might help you? Contact me for a complimentary consultation. You can reach me at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or use the contact form on the homepage.

Please take care, Inside and out! Pamela Topjian

Aging Gracefully

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Aging with grace. 

Let’s talk about aging gracefully. Men and women alike try to turn back time or wish they were 20 again (or even 40) We have fond memories of a social life before children, and the fun we had with our children as they were growing up. For some we miss our elders and wish we could go back to when they were still around.The days of a more active life and activities with friends. Days when we didn’t have aches and pains, our skin was smoother and felt more confident in our clothing.

There is a quote “I know as a woman I’m supposed to be afraid of getting older but, I love this shit so much. Every year I sink deeper into this bath of unapologetic realness and it’s amazing” – Bunmi Laditan 

Realness, I think, equals authenticity, its knowing who you are at a deeper level. Many older people are lost and unsure of who they are. Some will be living life longing for younger days, when they knew they were so-in-so’s parent, or the job title or had roles to play. Many feel lost without relating themselves to another more youthful time in their lives. 

We are spiritual beings, we are not this body that ages with time. Its hard for many to realize or conceptualize this question of ‘who am I?’ without these labels, titles or roles we once had. 

In my fifties. For me personally, my 50’s have been my best years yet. (Just weeks away from my 55th birthday at the time of this writing) Even though I have glaucoma, my eyesight has been bad since childhood, but it’s just going to continue getting worse, debilitating arthritis, which is also going to just get worse. I put on weight much easier and it’s much harder to take off. My  skin is wrinkling and sagging, my face is looking more “granny” like. With the lack of elasticity, nerve damage is showing up on my face from a physical assault, in an abusive relationship years ago. This is all part of who this body is, but for me, I am much more than this. I can feel that spirit within. 

However, let’s talk about aging for a minute from a different perspective than the damage time does on the body.  

Yes, I love aging and maturing. I love my grey streaks in my hair, I don’t mind seeing my mother in the mirror. I love being able to talk to men without them mistaking my kindness, or even interaction, as flirting. I love the wisdom life has given me. I have healthy boundaries in all areas of my life, and know myself better than ever before. There is a sense of freedom to be fully me I have never felt in my younger years. 

In the US, society has brainwashed us into thinking youth is something better than aging. Anti-aging products, the surgeries, the sayings about never asking a lady her age, and the like. It goes much deeper, that is just the surface. 

Step into yourself, let the memories of youth be fun to reflect on, but don’t wish your maturity away. Just like we tell young adults, or children to enjoy this time, and not to wish it away, it’s the same for us older adults. Please don’t waste away your senior years wishing you were young again. You lived it, your life is like no other – write a book or a blog, tell your story, get it out of you for the generations ahead. Enjoy this time, step fully into it, and embrace the wisdom, and freedom. Use the time, don’t waste it. Knowing we are over the hill so to speak, can be a motivator rather than a time of just waiting until we get to the bottom or regretting the loss of youth.

Take care of yourself. Yes take good care of your health, inside and out. Do the best you can to preserve your health, but not so you can turn back the clock, but to live healthy while you’re here. Start something new that you always wanted to try, or learn. As mentioned before, share your story. There is tremendous sense of healing, or a liberating feeling in getting it all down in book or blog form, or even just a recording. If you’re unsure where to start, just start telling your memories – the good ones, and the hard life lessons. You have so much value and wisdom to share whether you realize this or not. 

Self love, and self care is so important during this time. Starting a practice of self care and self love is very helpful if you’re having a hard time with aging gracefully. Hypnotherapy can help with that. However there are many other ways as well. Reach out, please don’t suffer in silence or think there is no hope now. No matter your age, the time will pass anyway, no matter what you do, or don’t do. Why not at least try to feel better about it? 

Any questions, concerns or anything to add to this I would love to hear it! Please, as always, feel free to reach out. Email me directly at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or use the contact form on the homepage. 

Thank you so much for being here, much peace and love to you.  Pamela Topjian

What Does It Mean To Live Authentically?

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What does it mean to be your authentic self?

Authenticity, simply said, is being true to you. In all situations and circumstances in life. More importantly however, its being true to you – TO YOU.  Within yourself, regardless of the outside world or your loved ones. 

True To YOU

Does who you are feel right within your heart and soul? If not, it may feel like you live with a constant lump or knot in your throat or stomach. 

Living authentically, being true to who you are, is helpful for all of us to self reflect on. I would like to talk about the transgender community, and/or LGBTQ+ community. There is nobody who understands better about living authentically, and how denying yourself this truth, can be detrimental to your entire being.

There are some song lyrics by a trans male that was in a documentary “Real boy” years ago, Bennett Wallace. Sharing just a few that are thought provoking here:  ‘If the only truth you have is that you’re living a lie, and if time won’t free the pain that you’ve held hostage in your mind fear not my love….if the skin your soul embodies doesn’t seem to fit quite right… “

Suicide rates are high for the LGBTQ+ community. There is still so very much misunderstanding, assumptions and judgements being made. Trans kids are out there, and in fact many (if not all or most) transgender people know well before puberty, and most often is not related to romantic or sexual attraction. Many transgender people  may not know exactly what’s going on at age 6 or by age 11, but they do know they aren’t who the rest of the world perceives them to be. Many will hide their true selves, being afraid to ask questions or tired of being told to act more like a man or a lady. Very often will start substance abuse or self harming at an early age. That then becomes the issue, when at its core,  its all much deeper. It’s about feeling right within yourself, and valued, if not at least just acceptance by the world for who you are on the inside. Without having to hide, or pretend or be judged or ridiculed by those who don’t understand. 

You don’t need proof to know who you are, because you know within your soul. You don’t need to know how to explain it to others, or be a scientist ,doctor or professor – it’s not your job or responsibility to educate others. Point them to some good resources if you like, or ask them nicely to do the research. Just because what you have felt inside most of your life does not mean that you are able to or need to explain it to others. 

Family/friends you don’t have to fully understand to be supportive, to love who people are no matter the physical body. So many things in life, no one can possibly fully understand that without having gone through it, and that’s okay.  Giving birth for example; Fathers and adoptive moms can still support the one giving birth, love the baby and love the one that birthed the baby.

Are you able to love your child, your partner, friend without fully understanding? If not, that is within you, and not them. If you do, then do your research if you want to try to understand better, without judgment or making assumptions. Without being upset with them for just wanting to live authentically. Even without doing research, just basic acceptance and unconditional love. Loving the whole person should not have anything to do with their gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

To sum up, please feel free to live as your authentic self. Whether or not it relates to gender. Many of us have had life experiences that didn’t seem a good fit for our soul, a job, a partner a place. Imagine feeling that within your own skin, your own body. When something feels off, trust that. I’m not at all saying here that if you don’t feel right or feel lost within yourself that you may be transgender. There are a variety of reasons one may feel unsure of who they are or the need to hide their true self. I use the example of transgender and the LGTBQ+ community as those who may know this feeling all to well.

Hypnotherapy can help people to gain confidence, to gain clarity or inner guidance. Most importantly to gain self love. 

If you are feeling lost unsure who you truly are, no matter your age, sex, gender identity, religion anything at all – if you are human but feel lost within yourself. Or have a poor self worth because of who you are at your core. Please reach out. You don’t have to live the rest of your life in that state of mind. There are several types of counseling, therapy and treatments. I never want anyone to feel I’m pushing hypnotherapy because I am a hypnotherapist. I want everyone to live their best life, to feel empowered to know they are worthy of living their authentic selves, and to your highest potential, no matter how you arrive at that. There is always hope and always help. It may take patience and diligence to find a right fit, but it is worth it. 

Please feel free to reach out with any questions or comments. Anything to add or discuss. I love to hear from you all. I can be reached here on the homepage of my website Breakthrough Hypnotherapy, through the contact form. Or by direct email at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com 

Consultations for hypnotherapy are always free of charge with no obligation whatsoever. A sample session is included so you know how it feels before you make any commitments. 

Thank you so much for being here. 

Take care, inside and out. Pamela Topjian

Recovery

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Recovery: The Merriam Webster’s definition of recovery is: 1.The act or process of becoming healthy after an illness or injury : the act or process of recovering. 2. the act or process of returning to a normal state after a period of difficulty. 3.the return of something that has been lost, stolen, etc

A few words on addiction and recovery from a “Normie” …. During my career as a licensed nurse, I have worked in a few different capacities of detox and recovery. Working overnights I had the opportunity to have some deep heartfelt conversations with a few of the clients/patients in my care. Even after having had family members go through this, I was surprised and amazed at the strength it took and the stigma felt for the rest of their lives. 

This is what I know for sure.

Although relapse can be part of the process, by getting to the root causes of addiction, relapse can be prevented. However, relapse does not in any way diminish your success. There is nothing to be ashamed of at all. I know that it takes a lot of courage to reach out and to stick it through. It takes so much strength to go through the physical and mental pain, not to mention literal blood, sweat and tears (and vomit)  of detox. It takes strength to close doors behind you, before you see others opening in front of you.

There is so much stigma and shame related to addiction, and recovery. Lives are changed, and not always for the better in the short term.  Sometimes it’s only in the long run that lives change for the better. The stigma (even within oneself with guilt, regret and shame) It takes courage, diligence and patience to continue on just for you.  Even when loved ones may not be supportive. They may or may not begin to trust again, and that’s okay. I know that no one can do it for you, no one can help you, until you want it for yourself. It’s way too hard to go it alone. Only you can heal within yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

Unfortunately many of the facilities and treatment centers do more harm than good. In too many ways to mention here. Many are not in the “business” of recovery for the care and treatment of those reaching out for help. This can break the focus and motivation of those that sincerely want to heal. This breaks my heart and this is a big part of why I do what I do. Please don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch, or turn you off away from seeking help. There are some good treatment centers and facilities out there. There is not just one way to go about recovery, you absolutely have to get to the root cause, change the mindset from deep within. Recovery should not feel like a punishment but more of an awakening.

Normie?

I have never been an addict myself. I have been called a “Normie”  almost as an insult. I get it, I dont’ have the experience of addiction within myself. Even those that do, no two people are alike. No two stories are exactly the same. However when It comes to addiction, I do have another perspective, which is just as important.

The experience I do have, as mentioned above, is that of living with family members with drug and alcohol addiction. Working hard, bending over backwards to my own detriment to try to “help” them while they were abusive and self sabotaging. The painful feeling I already lost them, they’re already gone, never to return as I once knew them. Grief, loss and heartache as the mother and wife of addicts gives me another perspective that I do think is valid and can be helpful. 

Recovery

My own personal experience with recovery is from PTSD and CPTSD from a traumatic childhood. As well as a complete breakdown later in life after leaving an abusive husband. I know what it’s like to go through deep depression, and high anxiety. Living down in a deep dark debilitating hole. I know what it’s like to have nightmares and night terrors, to not be able to think straight or remember parts of my life. To have flashbacks of abuse, not just in my dreams, but in my waking state, and even while driving. I know what fear is, regret and to feel so alone in the world, to wish I could disappear. Calling hotlines in the middle of the night. Having friends ask “what’s the matter NOW?” Feeling that no one really understands or cares.

I do have those experiences. However, I also know the feeling of that moment I realized I was going to make it! Make it out of that dark place, not just to live “normally” but building back up to an even better, happier and fulfilling life than I ever knew before. The feeling of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Pamela Topjian Painting “Breakthrough”

This is why I do this.

Yes I’m a licensed nurse, and certified Hypnotherapist, but more importantly I am passionate about showing everyone that is in a deep dark place in life, to see the light as I did. I want those people, young and old, from all walks of life fighting in recovery, to know there is hope, to know they can make it and there are options. Recovery, no matter what from, is possible. 

I cannot do it for you, no one can. I don’t want you to feel that I, nor anyone else, ever helped you or healed you. I want to guide you to the light within yourself. 

More to come

I would like to address in a future article, about being your authentic self and being true to you. As well as a subgroup of recovery, when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community as well. Update, here is the article: What Does It Mean To Live Authentically

How not being accepted or feeling at home in your own skin or body can lead to mental health issues and addiction. It comes down to judgements and acceptance, understanding and love. I have a very special friend that has lived through this, and shares his genuine passion to help others through his own research and experiences to help end this stigma and shame. Lona Currie of Recovery Soulfood and TransgenderMentor (on YouTube, twitter, Instagram, TicTok and facebook).  Check out my interview on his channel Recovery Soulfood, Using the subconscious mind to heal the soul. Leave a comment and while you’re there if you like what you see, please show your support with a like and subscribe! He is a part of the LGBTQ+ and recovery “Soul Family”. We’re planning a collaboration to reach further to those that may be hiding in the shadows.  Update, here is our collaboration podcast to help with compassion, awareness and dispel any misconceptions, misunderstandings with a safe place to get talk about those important topics. YouTube.com/TransgenderMentor

Please feel free to reach out if you have any thoughts on this, anything to add or with questions or concerns. 

You can reach me at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or the contact form on the homepage of my website Breakthrough Hypnotherapy

Will This Grief End?

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Will this grief ever end? There is so much more grief in this past year than years prior. No matter your thoughts or beliefs on the pandemic, or the virus etc. There is no denying that people have had great losses this past year. We will get through it, eventually. There is collective grief, and personal grief. Grief over the death of a loved one, and grief over the losses that change our lives.

Controversy. I know there is a lot of controversy over “the numbers” however, the funeral homes, and hospitals have been overrun and over filled with the dead this past year. 

Grief is more than losing a loved one. So many have lost their homes, jobs and business. This kind of loss changes your whole world. Your whole life as you knew it, is now different, and usually for your loved ones as well. This can be almost as severe as the loss of a loved one. I don’t want to downplay the loss of a life. However, people need to know it’s okay to feel grief over the loss of a job, career or home etc. We still need to allow ourselves to feel it and go through that grief. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, express them in whatever way feels right for you, as long as it’s not harmful to yourself or others. Then you are better able to move on, when the time is right for you. 

Loss of any kind can cause grief. Please do not feel guilty or any shame for your feelings.

How to heal from grief. How we heal will look different for everyone. If you need help, please reach out. There are hotline numbers and textline numbers. You do not need to be suicidal to call. If you need to talk, get it off your chest or just vent. Those numbers are there for you. If you are feeling suicidal please let them know, or call 911.

It is helpful to let it out by crying, writing or even calling a trusted loved one. Lose yourself in a project or volunteering to help others. Hypnotherapy, other forms of therapy and treatments can be very helpful in healing. Please don’t suffer in silence, or numb your pain with substances. Self care with a healthy diet, exercise and getting enough sleep is important during stressful times or times of grief. Denying your pain, or trying to hide it can cause deeper issues both mentally and physically. 

Sometimes loss is a blessing in disguise. While its still important to allow the painful emotions, it may still be helpful to think of ways these losses may be positive in the long run. In one of my previous articles, I wrote about How 2020 Was a Good Year that shows what we can focus on to help shift the perspective. (after we grieve the personal losses)

In the case of the death of a loved one, it’s helpful to remember them full of life, remember the good times, and be thankful for the time they were with you in this life. They would want you to remember them laughing or doing what they love. They would want you to carry on, to live fully. Again, allow the hurt emotions – allow yourself to grieve, there is no perfect, or right amount of time. However, don’t let it ruin the rest of your life. If you feel there is unfinished business or wish there was something more you could have said or done, this is guilt on top of grief. You can talk to them as if they were still alive, or as if in a prayer. You might want to do this looking at their photo or in meditation. You are able to have a silent conversation in your minds eye or during hypnotherapy. Writing a letter and bringing it to the gravesite, or putting it behind a photo frame can help.

Not this past year, but I have lost a sister in my teens, a step-son, my father, and all my grandparents. A couple friends as well. It’s sad but I try to remember the good memories of them all. For a few of them that were suffering or in pain in any way, I am happy for their souls to be free from the suffering.

Greif in itself can be healed, but sadness over losses may never end. The emotions should be felt fully so you can then let go and not live your life there in the dark.

If you’re having difficultly please don’t suffer in silence, please reach out. There are so many types of therapy and treatments to help, it may take some time to find a good fit for you.

I always give a sample session in the consultation so you can see how hypnotherapy feels for you. Please always feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns. I love hearing from you all. If you have any suggestions for any other article topics I’d love to hear. You may comment here, send an email, or send a message through the contact form on the home page.

Thank you so much for being here! Please take care, inside and out! Pamela Topjian LVN, CHt Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com