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How To Heal From Childhood Trauma

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There are many ways to help you through the healing process. There is not just one way that is the best, or one way that will be helpful for all. My last article was a basic overview of Childhood Trauma.

In that article, I mentioned this next one I would have more information about healing from Childhood trauma.  

Self care is vital. Balance is important. The mind and body work together. Our outer world and inner world also work together.  Even basic self care that most of us are aware of but also, most of us are lacking in, believe it or not, is part of healing. Eat a balanced healthy diet. This includes staying well hydrated with good clean water,  getting enough good sleep, having a spiritual or mindfulness practice that you are comfortable with, a social network (no, this doesn’t include social media). Now more than ever, to have a connection with friends and family in a safe manner is important for our mental well being. Getting exercise and having hobbies you enjoy is important, and last but not least, remember good hygiene. This is a basic list, not in any particular order. Oftentimes these self care basics are overlooked as a result of the trauma from the past that is disrupting our own self care. 

If you don’t have the skills or knowledge for self care due to neglect in your childhood, please do not be embarrassed to reach out, you are not at fault. 

Reach out. Ask your doctor or primary care provider, or even a trusted friend or loved one. If you’re in therapy (of any kind) bring this issue up to them and they will be happy to help you, completely judgement free. Medical and mental health professionals are there to help you in any way they can. They may refer you or give you other resources they think will be more helpful if they aren’t a good fit. You also are free to search for another, if you don’t feel heard or understood. It does take patience and diligence to find a good fit sometimes when it comes to the right treatment plan for you. 

Self care is usually thought of as spa days, and little luxuries, or gifts we give ourselves. It’s so much more than that. However,  it does help with self-love, self-respect and confidence. 

Painting by Pamela Topjian

Self-help techniques for childhood trauma. Journaling can be helpful to become clear on your thoughts and feelings. If you’re unsure where to start, ask yourself what your inner child needs to know, what would you like to tell that little one inside of you? Writing your story is very healing as well, I recently have done this myself. See: “Your Story Matters”

Try writing letters to people without the intention of sending them, even to those who are deceased, or who may be dangerous to contact. Write it all out, then bury it, or burn it, or both. Have a silent conversation with a person or even a situation, imagine what you would say, what did you need to say in the past but never had the chance? What would you like to say now from your adult perspective? You can do this in meditation, while on a walk, or even just laying in bed before you go to sleep. 

Healing through art is helpful. It’s a creative outlet for those stuck emotions, or can be a way to help unwind and relax, something to focus on that keeps your mind from any negative or racing thoughts. You don’t have to have any skill or take any lessons or wait for a class, unless you want to, but you don’t have to.

 I started painting at a particularly stressful time in my life in 2019 just for the fun of it, just to have some way to express myself creatively. I never had a class and didn’t care about the outcome but in less than 2 years have come a long way in my painting. It’s not even about the finished product still, it’s the process that is so healing, and therapeutic. I had no idea it would be so therapeutic for me. 

There are trained certified art therapists if you’re interested in finding one, which will be more helpful than taking an art class or course when it comes to using art as a form of therapy. If this sounds interesting to you, please don’t wait – pick up a pencil now and start doodling, get a few cheap paint brushes and some art pad… start today. 

My own Painting, Breakthrough Woman, by Pamela Topjian

I have had a couple clients that journal with art and words, it’s so amazing what they come up with, I’m so honored when they share with me. 

There are many books on childhood healing, or healing from childhood trauma and CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Some from spiritual perspectives, some from therapists and others from medical doctors. Check your local bookstore or an online shop to see the variety of books. Read the reviews and descriptions to find one that resonates with you. (I purposefully am not suggesting any particular one here, so you can find a good fit for you specifically) 

Self care may also include alternative therapies, such as different types of holistic or energy healers, aroma therapy or sound therapy as well. All of which can be complimentary to more traditional therapies, or medical treatments.

Awareness is key.. As stated in my last article on Childhood trauma, not all trauma is abuse or physical. It can be hard to recognize that you are even suffering from the effects of childhood trauma. If you read my story (link above) you will see clearly how my childhood was traumatic, but when I went to therapy after an abusive marriage I had no idea, it hadn’t even occurred to me that my childhood had played a part in the debilitating anxiety and depression that brought me into that office that day. I didn’t even realize that I was suffering the effects of PTSD let alone CPTSD. In fact I was so confused by the mental health issues, I thought since I was away from the dangerous situation I ought to  be feeling better. That confusion made it worse. Having an understanding of what’s going on, and why is very important. 

My point here is not about my story, but to find out the root cause of your mental health issues can be very liberating, and give you a place to start in which to heal. 

There are many types of therapists, with varying specialties, at different education and training levels. What works best though, regardless of any of that, is a good personality fit. Having a therapist you’re comfortable with is most important. Any therapist of any kind will be open about their training and education. 

You will find  my own information here “Meet Your Hypnotherapist” 

Meet Your Hypnotherapist

If you’re interested in learning how hypnotherapy might be helpful for you, reach out with any questions or concerns. Consultations are always free and include a sample session so you can see how it feels for you. 

Thank you so much for being here. I love to hear from you all. I’m open to suggestions for other article topics you would like to see me write about, as well as any thoughts on this or any other articles. You can reach me by using the contact form on the home page, or email me directly at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

Stay well, inside and out.  Pamela Topjian LVN, CHt

Childhood Trauma.

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Are your mental health issues rooted in childhood?

Why I decided to specialize with inner child work. I am a certified Hypnotherapist and changed careers from nursing, where I had the honor to work with many families in many areas of healthcare. Including, but not limited to, detox and recovery, home health pediatrics, and in a children’s psychiatric hospital. More on the career change here: http://hypnobreakthrough.com/index.php/2020/10/24/why-i-left-nursing/

I decided to focus on inner child work mainly from my own breakthrough during therapy a few years ago, where I realized that my own childhood had been a major contributor to my adult issues throughout my life. It took much too long for me to realize this, in my 50’s, after two unhealthy marriages and raising my own children. I also began to notice that many of my Hypnotherapy clients came to me for one issue only to realize after a couple sessions that the issue was rooted in childhood. You may not be able to heal from what may seem like a surface level issue, or something all together unrelated to your childhood,  until you dig deeper in the subconscious. I decided I wanted to help others get to the root of the issue sooner, so they can live a more fulfilling life. 

Trauma in childhood can cause many mental health issues in adulthood (not to be confused with mental illness, diseases or disabilities.) Including, but not limited to, Addictions, (remember that addiction is not always about drugs or alcohol)  lack of self esteem and self confidence, issues with relationships, trust, attachment, attracting or being attracted to abusive or controlling partners, repeating cycles and patterns passed down from our own parents, often for generations. Just to name a few. 

Mixed Media art by Artist, Aeron Brown 

You may wonder how you could possibly be having issues that are commonly associated with the inner child, or childhood trauma if your childhood was ‘normal’ or average, or even have mainly only good memories. We tend to think of childhood trauma in terms of extremes, such as physical or sexual abuse, and severe cases of willful neglect. However, that’s just not the case.

What other kinds of things cause childhood trauma? Parents who often argue or fight (physical or otherwise) within earshot of the children, or involving the children in the fights or arguments, absent parents, divorce, even friendly, respectful divorce can cause childhood trauma, poverty, death of a friend or loved one in childhood, under or over stimulation, being witness to a traumatic event that didn’t involve the child without explanation, or a supporting loving place to express feelings or ask questions about what was witnessed  ….and so much more. We hear so often that children are resilient, and they ’bounce back’. Parents are often wrongly advised to not talk about “it” or to hide their emotions around the children. Which actually causes more confusion for the kids. 

Credit: Mary Anne Enriquez On Flickr, Under Creative Commons

How to heal? Childhood trauma benefits from inner child work; which may include forgiveness, connecting with the inner child to re-parent the little one inside, or unlearning of limiting beliefs and old patterns. There are certainly many ways to do this, not all involve therapy. A ‘toolbox’ approach is best, having and using several choices and options to help work through the issues, and heal. Some treatments and therapies work better for others, something that has helped one person may not do anything for another. It does take patience and diligence to find out what’s best for you. The best place to start is to practice self care. My next article will offer some examples of the many ways to heal from childhood trauma. 

Reach out. Whether you feel that you have suffered childhood trauma or not, please reach out if you need help to cope. There is no shame or weakness in asking for help. You don’t have to know what exactly is wrong or why. If you’re feeling you need help – you’re not fulfilled, feel stuck or scared or unsure what’s going on, but just not happy – reach out, don’t suffer in silence! Mental health care matters, and you matter!

 It seems asking for help is one of the hardest things to do, especially for those of us that are considered the strong ones, or the ones that everyone else comes to for advice, or to vent or be a shoulder to cry on. Helping others is healing, but even the healer needs to remember self care and to seek help when needed as well. 

I want to thank you all so much for being here. I love hearing from you, please feel free to reach out anytime about anything. Do you have an idea for an article, or something you would like to see me write about? Do you have questions about hypnotherapy?  Are you wondering if hypnotherapy can help you with your own issues and goals. I always welcome feedback and questions. I offer complimentary phone consultations, where we can have a chat about hypnotherapy, get any questions answered and even get a sample session so you can see how it feels. 

You can contact me by email Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or by using the contact form on the homepage here: HypnoBreakthrough.com 

Please take care, inside and out 

Pamela Topjian, LVN, CHt

How was 2020 a good year?

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How was 2020 a good year?

While the world was (and still is at the time of this writing) in crisis, in many ways for some, 2020 was actually a good year. In fact for many, it was one of the best ever. Myself included. 

People have realized what is really important in life. Life changes were made, some forced upon us, but for others it gave them time to reflect back. We had been so tired, or stuck in a rut or a pattern of unhealthy habits without a second thought. Feeling powerless to make a big change out of fear of the unknown. Many because of responsibility and obligation. When the rug gets pulled out from under us sometimes it takes that big upheaval to make much needed changes. 

Authors Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut, both of whom have been cited with versions of the quote “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down”

There is a saying that the universe will give you whispers, then it will shout at you, then if you still don’t move, you will get knocked off your feet:

“I needed to make you uncomfortable or else you wouldn’t have moved” – The Universe. 

Please make no mistake, I am not at all saying that all the loss, death, confusion and more, was a good thing. There is no denying that there has been so much seriously heartbreaking, anxiety and trauma inducing events and circumstances throughout the year. I am also not saying to bury your head in the sand and pretend it was all good. I am saying that there is still good in the world, and there is good that came from the storm. When the dust finally settles, and we can pick up the pieces, many will be in a much better place for it. 

My heart goes out to families of those who lost everything, including loved ones during this past year. I send my heartfelt condolences, love and prayers to each and every one of you. 

Let’s look at this past year as a lesson. To notice what we value, and where we spend our time and energy. Allow this time to motivate us to build ourselves, our families and our communities back up. Take this opportunity to give where you can, to count your own blessings, to remember you never know what someone is going through in their lives and families, now more than ever. 

On a personal level, ask yourself if you want 2021 to be the same as 2019 for your own life …. Where were changes needed, and what have you gained in life lessons and self awareness this past year? Several ways in which to self reflect; spend time alone in nature,  in meditation or prayer. Write it out, get clear with your inner voice, oftentimes writing will bring out things from deep within that you don’t expect. 

Self care is so important, not just physical health to help strengthen our immunity, but mental health care is also much needed at this time. Those who already had mental health issues have been finding this year much harder to handle, and those that had no mental health issues are now finding themselves depressed, or anxious. 

Hypnotherapy is very helpful to relieve stress, to  get clarity with your inner self, your own values and help to motivate you to do better. Break old patterns and habits. Please keep in mind nothing is a cure all and not one type of treatment or therapy works for all. It’s important to do your own trial and error, self study with patience and diligence to find your own best treatments. The complementary treatments and ‘tool box’ approach is great for many, combining different methods to help you get the best results. 

Please feel free to reach out with any questions, concerns or to schedule a free consultation. Thank you for reading this and being here. 

Please take care. 

Pamela Topjian LVN, CHt 

Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

HypnoBreathrough.com