Home › Posts tagged self care

self care

10 ways to help you on your self discovery journey

Posted on by — 2 Comments ↓

Self-discovery is a deeply personal, and ongoing journey. there are several approaches you can take to explore and understand yourself better. Here are some methods to guide you along on your journey. These are in no particular order, except for number one. 

  1. Journaling

Journaling absolutely has to be the number one way to help you along in your self discovery journey. If you are someone who has trouble journaling. Start with some prompts. Write out what you’re thinking about just as you’re first waking up, or just before going to sleep.

Some prompts to get you started:

“What life events, or circumstances changed your life”

“What is your biggest fear”

“An activity that is most joyful to you”

“An activity/topic of interest do I lose myself in” 

“Who do you admire and why” 

“What challenges you have overcome or what was the most challenging time in your life” 

“What have been your biggest accomplishments in life” 

2. Meditation/Prayer

“Prayer is speaking to God, while meditation is listening to God.” A few different people are credited with this quote. 

Prayer can be a way to communicate with whatever/whoever is your higher power, your guides, even the universe “put it out to the universe” Prayer isn’t just used as a form of any specific religious practice. You can reach out in prayer to whatever energy, beings, gods, goddesses, guides etc. you feel can help bring you clarity or assist you on your journey.

Meditation is a way (much like Hypnotherapy) to reflect deep within yourself to gain clarity or even to see what comes up for you. Sitting in silent, still meditation can help you learn about yourself as much as guided meditations.

 3. Personality Assessments 

  There are several types of personality assessments online. A couple of the more well known ones are the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Enneagram test. Love language tests can also be very helpful in learning about yourself. 

Please know that as you go through life, having different experiences, growing, and learning and your answers may change. So if you have taken any of these in the past, I encourage you to take it again. 

Even as you go through the test, regardless of the outcome, just answering the questions can be very helpful in your self discovery journey. 

4. Values.

 How are you living your life according to your values? 

An exercise that will help you gain clarity on this is to write out your values, then narrow it down to 3-5. Ask yourself how your life shows that these are your most important values in life. Check in with yourself to see if anything you do regularly goes against these values. (this can also be a good journaling exercise) 

 5. Creative Expression

Any art form, even singing, dancing, decorating, organizing, writing… the list is just about endless. This can help you understand what truly fulfills you, what you get lost in the flow of doing, and in turn help you to understand yourself better. 

6. Shadow Work

  Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow is very basically, recognizing parts of yourself that you’ve repressed or denied. This takes being open and candid with yourself.

   – Reflect on your triggers, fears, or perceived negative traits to better understand how they impact your life.(another great journaling exercise) 

Another great exercise to help with your shadow self is to think of a person you really don’t like at all. What are the main issues with this person? 

Narrow it down to 3 or 5 traits that you really dislike about this person. Then ask yourself which of these might also be a trait of mine, or which of these am I feeling shame or triggered by the most – then explore that. 

7. Therapy or Counseling 

   There are many forms and types of therapy. Nothing is right for everyone. I do believe everyone can benefit from some sort of therapy or counseling. Even if you just go in because you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, or feeling lost lately. Unsure of who you really are at the core level. You may have some trauma that still needs to be worked through. No matter the actual reason you go for therapy or counseling, it will be helpful in your self discovery journey.

8. New Experiences

   Get out of your comfort Zone. Within reason – you want to make sure you’re safe. Some comfort zones are personal protection. So be mindful of staying safe. 

I’m talking about trying something new, something of interest that you never tried. Attend a class or sign up for a course, a group activity you found on Meet-Up or social media. 

Try a holistic modality or method that sounds interesting to you. (please see “Holistic Connections” playlist on my youtube channel) 

9. Reading & Learning

  Plenty of self-help books out there. Also you can learn about yourself by learning about psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. 

 You can also learn a lot about yourself by reading others biographies or memoirs Reading about others’ lives can help you to reflect on your own journey, and give you a new perspective.

10. Spiritual Exploration 

Explore spiritual and/or religious practices: Whether through religion, philosophy, or alternative spiritual paths. It’s always good to learn about different beliefs and rituals. You can learn a lot about yourself by reflecting on what feels right or true within yourself as your learning.  

Also some more journal prompts.  “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?”  “do I believe in God, why or why not.” “Where do these beliefs come from?” 

I have a video on my YouTube channel titled “How to find what’s right and true for you on your spiritual path” Many other videos on my YouTube that may help in your self discovery journey, including one with this same list. Please check out the play list tab for all the self help and self care videos there. Plenty of guided visualizations and meditations are there as well.

I hope this has helped get you started on your self discovery journey. Always feel free to reach out. You may use the contact form on the home page or email me at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

How To Show Up For Yourself.

Posted on by

What does it mean to show up for yourself? 

Beyond physically showing up where you have an appointment, a plan or obligation. Show up for yourself – walk your talk, and talk your walk with integrity and honor. Strive to not for greatness, but to do your best each day, to also honor the days you need to rest, reflect, or just be still or at one with yourself. 

Show up – be true to you. Treat yourself with loving kindness. Treat yourself as you would your child, your grandparents or even your fur-baby. 

Every day you make decisions and choices to show up for yourself, or not. 

How can I honor my body and still eat junk food daily. How can I value peace yet, stay in an environment that is toxic to my being, or start an argument, or lash out, even just online with a stranger, or even if just in my mind to myself.

Ask yourself what is most important to me? Showing up for yourself is making sure your daily actions, (words and thoughts) are in line with what is most important to you. Make a list of your priorities and ask yourself before starting something new, is this in line with my priorities?

Doing some shadow work is helpful in being able to truly show up for yourself. The “Shadow Self” is a concept first coined by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, that describes those aspects of the personality that we choose to reject and repress. 

Carl Gustav Jung 1875-1961

One experiment you can do to reveal your shadow self, and begin to do shadow work is one by a college professor. He handed out cards to his students and asked them to think of the person that irritates them the most. Maybe even the person they “hate” the most… once they have that person in mind, to write down 5 things, or reasons this person irritates them. 

Then he told them to look at the list and identify at least 3 of those things that are within themselves, parts of themselves they hide, or repress. 

This can be pretty eye opening, and can help start some shadow work. 

Showing up for yourself isn’t always easy. Especially if you’re the type of person that avoids confrontation, people pleases above your own wishes or needs, or has some unhealthy habits (physically or mentally)

Who doesn’t have unhealthy habits, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Showing up for yourself  is being honest with yourself, and a willingness to be candid and vulnerable. A willingness to work on those parts of yourself you may try to repress, as well as working towards improvement. There is always more to heal, more to learn, more ways to serve yourself (and others) If you’re on this earth as a human – there’s room for improvement. 

“Nobody’s perfect, but all of us can be better than we are.” -Jackie Stewart

Again, this doesn’t mean you have to run yourself into exhaustion, or burnout striving for improvement. This would in fact, be the opposite of showing up for yourself. 

Rest when need be, do what you love, do what feeds your soul, be who you say you are, and most of all, show yourself love and grace. Sometimes showing up for yourself is just choosing a small step in self-care.

If you’re having trouble even identifying what is important to you. If you have been disconnected from self for so long, you don’t even know who you are anymore. I would love to invite you on a quick contact call. A free consultation to show you how I may help guide you back to self.  To learn more, check out my HypnoBreakthrough website.

So I ask you, are you showing up for yourself? I would love to hear how you show up for yourself. Regardless of if you’re interested in booking with me. I love hearing people’s stories and the different paths we have all found to self love and self improvement. 

Please take care, inside and out. -Pamela Topjian

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

Posted on by

Why do some men hide their emotions? I certainly don’t want to generalize, many men are very open emotionally, and share with their loved ones and even seek professional help when needed. However the sad fact is that still, many men hide their emotions.

Here are some thoughts on some of the reasons….

Men and boys have been encouraged and programed to be emotionless. Going back to the days of cavemen, when they had to protect the family, elders, and maybe even a community, from wildlife and other dangers. Men were the hunters and protectors. Facing danger daily and comforting others, helping them to feel secure and safe. Even if he himself was afraid. 

This has been passed down over all these years. Men have had a hard time through history showing and sharing emotions. 

This leaves modern day women wondering why he is “emotionally unavailable” or as the title asks, “why can’t you share your emotions?” 

This too, has been going on for years in civilization as the roles have equalized somewhat. 

Men are taught to hide their emotions

We have been conditioning our boys from way back. “Man up” “big boys don’t cry” and many other hurtful comments that are meant to give strength to the men but more often than not is just doing more harm than good in these modern times. 

This can lead to some men shutting down, being emotionally unavailable, or being uncomfortable around the emotions of others. Worst case scenario many have turned to alcohol or drugs to numb the feelings, diseases can start from knots in the stomach with pent up emotions and holding on to hurts, and emotional pain for a very long time. 

We need to be very aware of how we speak to boys. Be aware of ourselves what our own expectations are with the men in our lives. To be open and encouraging to the men in our lives to show their emotions. Pressure or pushing won’t help, these emotional blocks run deep. A kind “I Know you’re hurting, I’m here if you need to let it out” “it’s okay to let it out, I’m here for you, you’re safe with me, I love you” Remind the men in your life that you are their partner, to share the load and they can take a mental health day, they can go for help if needed. 

Recognize when anger, avoidance/distance, or heavy drinking may be a cry for help, or at least a sign of emotions that he just doesn’t know what to do with. 

There has been a recent shift in many areas, and groups, and this is great! However it’s slow going, because these sayings and expectations are so deeply ingrained from so far back.

We need to do better for the emotional wellbeing of all. Children, wives, mothers, friends and other family, have all been deeply hurt by the lack of, or avoidance of emotions by the men in their lives, not to mention the men themselves.  This is by no means to suggest all men have these same issues, there are many men very emotionally comfortable and available.

We are all connected and by healing ourselves, we help to heal others. 

We can work on this by being comfortable when others show emotions, just comfort the other with your presence or a hug, no need to try to get them to stop or make them laugh or offer a distraction. Allow the emotions to come through, and just “hold space” in honor of them. Be careful not to sound like your dad or grandfather or a coach, when another man or boy is trying to hide their emotions or shed a tear. Sometimes words come out almost on autopilot, be sure they get filtered before they are allowed out of the mouth and into the mind of another.

Do this for yourself as well. It does take practice and may be very uncomfortable at first, but the more you do this, the easier it becomes. 

As you become comfortable with the emotions of others, you eventually become comfortable with your own. You then become an example and model for others, and the younger generations. We often plant seeds unknowingly. The smallest action, word or lack thereof, can change lives. 

I have great faith in the power of hypnotherapy. Phone sessions help those that may otherwise shy away from seeking help or any form of therapy. 

Hypnotherapy helps to facilitate deep transformations, without having to relive or tell all. You will go deep within, it’s an inside job, not something you put out on the table to get answers from another. Hypnotherapy helps untie knots that are so deep and that go so far back, you may not even realize they are there, until you feel the relief after they are untied.

Sessions are available evenings and weekends, over the phone or zoom in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Please see the testimonials page, most of those are from phone sessions. Consultations are always free and will include a basic sample session upon request. Use the contact form on the home page or email me directly at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com to schedule your free consultation. 

Please always feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.  I’d love to hear what you think about this article, or the others. What have you found to be helpful?

Thank you so much for being here, and for reading.

Pamela Topjian CHt