Motivation and Focus

How can I become more motivated to reach my goals, more focused to stick to a routine or my to-do list? I hear this a lot! 

We all know what we “should” do each day. We all have a long to-do list, but why can’t we get it done, or why do we procrastinate? Is it our motivation, our focus, or our lack of discipline?

 Are you inspired, or motivated? Inspiration is internal, feeling called to do it,  motivation is external. When you’re inspired, motivation comes naturally, no resistance, no forcing. We get mad at ourselves, and that inner negative self-talk kicks in to reinforce the feeling of not being good enough, being lazy or worthless. 

A different perspective. Maybe you aren’t supposed to do all the things on your list alone or within an unrealistic expectation for one person? It may be an opportunity to learn to speak up for yourself, set boundaries, and stand in your power. Look where you can prioritize and delegate. Maybe you need more experiences in your life before that big dream or project can be completed. 

For instance; an inspirational person may come into your life, or you find a new book or podcast that makes a difference in your life somehow. You may even have an experience. Often it’s the unexpected, life changing experiences that show us our true calling, where our heart truly is. This may open more doors, or give you much more information and helpful tools to get that project done, or help you to achieve that dream. 

Personal example; when I started in Hypnotherapy in 2010 I never was able to get a business going full time. I had felt like a dream was lost for many years, feeling disappointed in myself. Then so many things happened in my life that have helped to shape me into a much better Hypnotherapist. Including an opportunity (along with a full on deja vu experience) for more education and certification. 

Just something to consider, this may be why you’re not working on that project or making that dream come true as fast as you would like. There may be more going on in your favor than you realize 

Deadlines, schedules, routines. Some people work better without deadlines, schedules, or routines. There is nothing wrong with that. Throughout our lives,  from almost day one, we’re told that it’s time for this, and time for that…. We don’t all work best that way.  We have different times of day that we’re more productive than others. Some do much better on night shift jobs than day shift jobs. 

Why not do 3 days worth of that 10 day course when you feel excited to do it, rather than fall behind because you just don’t feel like doing it every day. Don’t kick yourself or give up, because you’re not doing it according to some timeline. (unless required to of course)

Society pushes us to believe routine and schedules keep us on track and moving forward. For many that is the case, and you may want to use fancy or fun color coded appointment books, or organizer apps. Add on your list, some fun things, or self care routines. 

For just as many others, it’s limiting for us. If you feel like or are more motivated creating or working or whatever it is, at 3 am, do it. Know yourself and what keeps you feeling good about the work or creative endeavours that you hope to achieve. Is the schedule helping, or keeping you feeling bad about yourself for not sticking to it? 

Of course we have things we absolutely have to do to live, and sometimes we have trouble staying motivated or focused. You may need to prioritize. The vacuuming can be done another day, the laundry may need to come first, the bills must be paid, etc. What can you do to make these tasks less daunting? Think out of the box, or out of your comfort zone even for some of it. Put things on auto pay, order your groceries to be delivered, ask for help without feeling guilty, and apologizing. 

What do you have no problem completing, or what on the to-do list do you love to do? Sometimes with tasks that need to be done, it’s helpful to tie it to something enjoyable, have some candy guilt free, or play some upbeat music during the task. How many of you love to clean while dancing around the house with the music blaring? 

Step back. Where you have trouble with motivation or focus, is where you need to step back and rethink. What are you resisting and why? Is there something from your past that keeps you in resistance to this? Take a good look within. Step back and ask yourself, why are you resisting these things? When did you think they were so important, did someone else tell you that, or put the responsibility on you? Were you called lazy or never felt validated for the work you completed? Were you criticized for your projects and interests in the past? 

Hypnotherapy is one way to help with releasing those blocks and obstacles that are holding you back. Limiting beliefs stuck deep down in your subconscious from long ago. 

What ways tips have you found helpful in staying focused, or motivated when procrastination takes over, or the job/project seems overwhelming? Feel free to leave a comment.

Please always feel free to reach out with any questions, or concerns. I love to hear from you all – what other ideas do you have for a future article? Are you interested in finding out if Hypnotherapy might help you? Contact me for a complimentary consultation. You can reach me at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or use the contact form on the homepage.

Please take care, Inside and out! Pamela Topjian

Aging Gracefully

Aging with grace. 

Let’s talk about aging gracefully. Men and women alike try to turn back time or wish they were 20 again (or even 40) We have fond memories of a social life before children, and the fun we had with our children as they were growing up. For some we miss our elders and wish we could go back to when they were still around.The days of a more active life and activities with friends. Days when we didn’t have aches and pains, our skin was smoother and felt more confident in our clothing.

There is a quote “I know as a woman I’m supposed to be afraid of getting older but, I love this shit so much. Every year I sink deeper into this bath of unapologetic realness and it’s amazing” – Bunmi Laditan 

Realness, I think, equals authenticity, its knowing who you are at a deeper level. Many older people are lost and unsure of who they are. Some will be living life longing for younger days, when they knew they were so-in-so’s parent, or the job title or had roles to play. Many feel lost without relating themselves to another more youthful time in their lives. 

We are spiritual beings, we are not this body that ages with time. Its hard for many to realize or conceptualize this question of ‘who am I?’ without these labels, titles or roles we once had. 

In my fifties. For me personally, my 50’s have been my best years yet. (Just weeks away from my 55th birthday at the time of this writing) Even though I have glaucoma, my eyesight has been bad since childhood, but it’s just going to continue getting worse, debilitating arthritis, which is also going to just get worse. I put on weight much easier and it’s much harder to take off. My  skin is wrinkling and sagging, my face is looking more “granny” like. With the lack of elasticity, nerve damage is showing up on my face from a physical assault, in an abusive relationship years ago. This is all part of who this body is, but for me, I am much more than this. I can feel that spirit within. 

However, let’s talk about aging for a minute from a different perspective than the damage time does on the body.  

Yes, I love aging and maturing. I love my grey streaks in my hair, I don’t mind seeing my mother in the mirror. I love being able to talk to men without them mistaking my kindness, or even interaction, as flirting. I love the wisdom life has given me. I have healthy boundaries in all areas of my life, and know myself better than ever before. There is a sense of freedom to be fully me I have never felt in my younger years. 

In the US, society has brainwashed us into thinking youth is something better than aging. Anti-aging products, the surgeries, the sayings about never asking a lady her age, and the like. It goes much deeper, that is just the surface. 

Step into yourself, let the memories of youth be fun to reflect on, but don’t wish your maturity away. Just like we tell young adults, or children to enjoy this time, and not to wish it away, it’s the same for us older adults. Please don’t waste away your senior years wishing you were young again. You lived it, your life is like no other – write a book or a blog, tell your story, get it out of you for the generations ahead. Enjoy this time, step fully into it, and embrace the wisdom, and freedom. Use the time, don’t waste it. Knowing we are over the hill so to speak, can be a motivator rather than a time of just waiting until we get to the bottom or regretting the loss of youth.

Take care of yourself. Yes take good care of your health, inside and out. Do the best you can to preserve your health, but not so you can turn back the clock, but to live healthy while you’re here. Start something new that you always wanted to try, or learn. As mentioned before, share your story. There is tremendous sense of healing, or a liberating feeling in getting it all down in book or blog form, or even just a recording. If you’re unsure where to start, just start telling your memories – the good ones, and the hard life lessons. You have so much value and wisdom to share whether you realize this or not. 

Self love, and self care is so important during this time. Starting a practice of self care and self love is very helpful if you’re having a hard time with aging gracefully. Hypnotherapy can help with that. However there are many other ways as well. Reach out, please don’t suffer in silence or think there is no hope now. No matter your age, the time will pass anyway, no matter what you do, or don’t do. Why not at least try to feel better about it? 

Any questions, concerns or anything to add to this I would love to hear it! Please, as always, feel free to reach out. Email me directly at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com or use the contact form on the homepage. 

Thank you so much for being here, much peace and love to you.  Pamela Topjian