Why should I be thankful for my traumas? I would gladly have skipped that part of my life. That was the worst time or event in my life, why should I be thankful? “I deserve to be mad/sad/fearful…”
I’m sure you read the title and thought of one of those questions or statements above. I don’t blame you, no one wants to go through something traumatic.
The hard truth is, that we cannot go back, we cannot change the past. Traumatizing experiences will get worse over time rather than better if we’re only angry with it. The anger, fears, the shame, the blame or sorrow causes you to keep this nagging ache within yourself. It will become you. Others may think or ask. what’s wrong with them, they’re always so down or angry. Don’t let the answer be that this terrible thing happened years ago….
That thing that happened, or that part of your life is NOT YOU.
Many will cover up the emotions with smoking, drinking, legal or illegal drug use, or use shopping, work, extreme fitness, or other risky behaviors. They try to forget, or numb, these emotions. Others live in a sad, fearful or anxious state throughout most of their lives; barely just existing. Again, no, we certainly cannot go back and change the past. Believe me, I know the feeling of wishing I could forget parts of my life, or not had to live through certain events.
Only in the last year or two have I begun to see all that I have learned, and how much I’ve grown as a person, as a soul for having lived through everything I have. I have more empathy, less judgement, but most importantly, I am where I am because of those events. One stepping stone after the other led me to right here right now. One fall after the other gave me strength every time I got up. I now know how strong, resilient and capable I am now.
Being thankful for the traumatic events in your life doesn’t mean to downplay or belittle your pain at all. It doesn’t mean to say you cannot, or should not be angry or upset about it. Please let out those emotions, if you have not acknowledged that pain, that’s not healthy either.
Something that helps is, while alone or in hypnotherapy, have a mental conversation with a person from your past, or even with a situation you have experienced. Let it all out, yell, or just silently to yourself, say all that comes to mind about it, without filters, just let it out. You may feel better to write it all out, and burn and/or bury it in the dirt.
Personally, a couple things I’ve done; I have written a long letter and burned it (in my fireplace). I have done meditations to cut the cords, which can be done in hypnotherapy as well. You then have that tool to do this on your own as many times as needed. I wrote a book, my whole life story out – childhood traumas, other later life traumas, not just the traumas, but all the ups and downs of life. I have a story and I believe it will help others if I ever get it published. Just the act of writing it all out, all of it, was very therapeutic and I highly recommend you try it. (edit/update: I’ve also written out the story of my past traumatic experiences in a blogpost, in 3 parts, also with the the importance of telling your story) “Your Story Matters”
Another way I have let it out was through creative expression. I started painting just over a year ago. I never had tried it before in my adult life. I always admired artists and art of all kinds. I just decided one day to look where I felt unbalanced. This was long after EMDR therapy, after getting out of my darkest times and already feeling much better. My life was starting to look up in many ways. So by just paying attention to what was yet out of balance I realized it was lacking anything creative. A creative outlet, or a way to express myself, so I decided to buy a small paint set just for the fun of it. It has truly been therapeutic, and has allowed me to express more than I even thought I had within me.
Once the anger, fear or sorrow is out of you, or even during the process of healing, then you can ask yourself what you have learned from that, what you have learned about you, as a person. How that has shaped your life in a positive way. Even if it’s just to have the tools to help another someday. You may have changed locations, or careers, gotten out of a bad relationship, or into a certain hobby or volunteer work because of what you had been through.
Sometimes we have to have the rug pulled out from under us, our whole world turned upside down, for us to land where we need to be. Where we can shine and be our best selves, where we can best serve others or make a positive impact.
Would you have known your own greatness, your own gifts and graces without having been through that? I know I would not be the person I am, or be where I am in life had my life been devoid of at least some of my traumatic events.
It sure is easier said than done. It may take a little while to process and live through the storm to change perspective. You need to decide if you will let this time in your life or this event keep you down or you will get by day by day, moment by moment in hope that you will get past it, better days are ahead if you want them to be. It sometimes just takes that shift in thinking to start to move out from under the place that trauma put you in.
Personally, a couple things I’ve done; I have written a long letter and burned it (in my fireplace). I have done meditations to cut the cords, which can be done in hypnotherapy.
You then have that tool to do this on your own as many times as needed. I wrote a book, my whole life story out – childhood traumas, other later life traumas, not just the traumas, but all the ups and downs of life. I have a story and I believe it will help others if I ever get it published. Just the act of writing it all out, all of it, was very therapeutic and I highly recommend you try it.
Another way I have let it out was through creative expression. I started painting just over a year ago. I never had tried it before in my adult life. I always admired artists and art of all kinds. I just decided one day to look where I felt unbalanced. This was long after EMDR therapy, after getting out of my darkest times and already feeling much better. My life was starting to look up in many ways. So by just paying attention to what was yet out of balance I realized it was lacking anything creative. A creative outlet, or a way to express myself, so I decided to buy a small paint set just for the fun of it. It has truly been therapeutic, and has allowed me to express more than I even thought I had within me.
Once the anger, fear or sorrow is out of you, or even during the process of healing, then you can ask yourself what you have learned from that, what you have learned about you, as a person. How that has shaped your life in a positive way. Even if it’s just to have the tools to help another someday. You may have changed locations, or careers, gotten out of a bad relationship, or into a certain hobby or volunteer work because of what you had been through..
Would you have known your own greatness, your own gifts and graces without having been through that? I know I would not be the person I am, or be where I am in life had my life been devoid of at least some of my traumatic events.
One thought or decision can change your whole life. Decide to make it another day, decide to work on healing, do something different, something positive, decide that a life well lived is the best revenge, decide that hope exists. Know that life is changing all the time, day by day maybe not so much without effort, but look back 5 years ago, or even one year ago, it changes and sometimes those changes are very good ones.
Breakthrough Hypnotherapy will help you to change your mindset. It will help break through those blocks and barriers that have been building since childhood. Contact me for a consolation to find out how Breakthrough Hypnotherapy may help you. Also , please feel free to reach out anytime with any questions or concerns. I love to hear from you all. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here.
Pamela CHt
Contact me using the contact form on the home page HypnoBreakthrough.com or by direct email at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com
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