Why should I be thankful for my traumas? I would gladly have skipped that part of my life. That was the worst time or event in my life, why should I be thankful? “I deserve to be mad/sad/fearful…”

I’m sure you read the title and thought of one of those questions or statements above. I don’t blame you, no one wants to go through something traumatic. 

The hard truth is, that we cannot go back, we cannot change the past. Traumatizing experiences will get worse over time rather than better if we’re only angry with it. The anger, fears, the shame, the blame or sorrow causes you to keep this nagging ache within yourself. It will become you. Others may think or ask. what’s wrong with them, they’re always so down or angry. Don’t let the answer be that this terrible thing happened years ago…. 

That thing that happened, or that part of your life is NOT YOU. 

Many will cover up the emotions with smoking, drinking, legal or illegal drug use, or use shopping, work, extreme fitness, or other risky behaviors. They try to forget, or numb, these emotions. Others live in a sad, fearful or anxious state throughout most of their lives; barely just existing. Again, no, we certainly cannot go back and change the past. Believe me, I know the feeling of wishing I could forget parts of my life, or not had to live through certain events. 

Only in the last year or two have I begun to see all that I have learned, and how much I’ve grown as a person, as a soul for having lived through everything I have. I have more empathy, less judgement, but most importantly, I am where I am because of those events. One stepping stone after the other led me to right here right now. One fall after the other gave me strength every time I got up. I now know how strong, resilient and capable I am now.

Being thankful for the traumatic events in your life doesn’t mean to downplay or belittle your pain at all. It doesn’t mean to say you cannot, or should not be angry or upset about it. Please let out those emotions, if you have not acknowledged that pain, that’s not healthy either. 

Something that helps is, while alone or in hypnotherapy, have a mental conversation with a person from your past, or even with a situation you have experienced. Let it all out, yell, or just silently to yourself, say all that comes to mind about it, without filters, just let it out. You may feel better to write it all out, and burn and/or bury it in the dirt.

Personally, a couple things I’ve done; I have written a long letter and burned it (in my fireplace). I have done meditations to cut the cords, which can be done in hypnotherapy as well. You then have that tool to do this on your own as many times as needed. I wrote a book, my whole life story out – childhood traumas, other later life traumas, not just the traumas, but all the ups and downs of life. I have a story and I believe it will help others if I ever get it published. Just the act of writing it all out, all of it, was very therapeutic and I highly recommend you try it. (edit/update: I’ve also written out the story of my past traumatic experiences in a blogpost, in 3 parts, also with the the importance of telling your story) “Your Story Matters”

Another way I have let it out was through creative expression. I started painting just over a year ago. I never had tried it before in my adult life. I always admired artists and art of all kinds. I just decided one day to look where I felt unbalanced. This was long after EMDR therapy, after getting out of my darkest times and already feeling much better. My life was starting to look up in many ways. So by just paying attention to what was yet out of balance I realized it was lacking anything creative. A creative outlet, or a way to express myself, so I decided to buy a small paint set just for the fun of it. It has truly been therapeutic, and has allowed me to express more than I even thought I had within me. 

Once the anger, fear or sorrow is out of you, or even during the process of healing,  then you can ask yourself what you have learned from that, what you have learned about you, as a person. How that has shaped your life in a positive way. Even if it’s just to have the tools to help another someday. You may have changed locations, or careers, gotten out of a bad relationship, or into a certain hobby or volunteer work because of what you had been through.

Sometimes we have to have the rug pulled out from under us, our whole world turned upside down, for us to land where we need to be. Where we can shine and be our best selves, where we can best serve others or make a positive impact. 

Would you have known your own greatness, your own gifts and graces without having been through that? I know I would not be the person I am, or be where I am in life had my life been devoid of at least  some of my traumatic events. 

It sure is easier said than done. It may take a little while to process and live through the storm to change perspective. You need to decide if you will let this time in your life or this event keep you down or you will get by day by day, moment by moment in hope that you will get past it, better days are ahead if you want them to be. It sometimes just takes that shift in thinking to start to move out from under the place that trauma put you in. 

Personally, a couple things I’ve done; I have written a long letter and burned it (in my fireplace). I have done meditations to cut the cords, which can be done in hypnotherapy.

You then have that tool to do this on your own as many times as needed. I wrote a book, my whole life story out – childhood traumas, other later life traumas, not just the traumas,  but all the ups and downs of life. I have a story and I believe it will help others if I ever get it published. Just the act of writing it all out, all of it, was very therapeutic and I highly recommend you try it. 

Another way I have let it out was through creative expression. I started painting just over a year ago. I never had tried it before in my adult life. I always admired artists and art of all kinds. I just decided one day to look where I felt unbalanced. This was long after EMDR therapy, after getting out of my darkest times and already feeling much better. My life was starting to look up in many ways. So by just paying attention to what was yet out of balance I realized it was lacking anything creative. A creative outlet, or a way to express myself, so I decided to buy a small paint set just for the fun of it. It has truly been therapeutic, and has allowed me to express more than I even thought I had within me. 

Once the anger, fear or sorrow is out of you, or even during the process of healing,  then you can ask yourself what you have learned from that, what you have learned about you, as a person. How that has shaped your life in a positive way. Even if it’s just to have the tools to help another someday. You may have changed locations, or careers, gotten out of a bad relationship, or into a certain hobby or volunteer work because of what you had been through.. 

Would you have known your own greatness, your own gifts and graces without having been through that? I know I would not be the person I am, or be where I am in life had my life been devoid of at least  some of my traumatic events. 

One thought or decision can change your whole life. Decide to make it another day, decide to work on healing, do something different, something positive,  decide that a life well lived is the best revenge, decide that hope exists. Know that life is changing all the time, day by day maybe not so much without effort, but look back 5 years ago, or even one year ago, it changes and sometimes those changes are very good ones. 

Breakthrough Hypnotherapy will help you to change your mindset. It will help break through those blocks and barriers that have been building since childhood. Contact me for a consolation to find out how Breakthrough Hypnotherapy may help you. Also , please feel free to reach out anytime with any questions or concerns. I love to hear from you all. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here. 

Pamela CHt

Contact me using the contact form on the home page HypnoBreakthrough.com or by direct email at Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

I’ve had clients come to me with a laundry list of issues, and ask “Can you fix me?” Well, no, I can’t fix you, mainly because you’re not broken. You’re human.

I would love to work with you to help you to release the blocks or limiting beliefs that are making you feel stuck or broken. 

Truth be told, no one can, or should, take on that responsibility to “fix” you.  No one should take that away from you, or deprive you of the growth and empowerment that comes from overcoming obstacles, or seeing that light at the end of the tunnel for yourself. I love seeing clients begin to have a breakthrough – sometimes it happens during a session, they have some great epiphany,  other times, it’s a slower, cumulative process. It’s such an honor to be a witness of the light coming back into their lives. 

Only you can “fix” you, but first you must realize that you’re not broken. You may feel that way, and believe me, I know that feeling. Most of us do at some point in our lives, or it comes and goes throughout our lives. We may think ‘what the heck is wrong with me?’ during our worst days, or years even. 

Life is full of ups and downs, full of darker times and lighter times. Not unlike the seasons (I know, I see you rolling your eyes).  Not to downplay your feeling of being broken, or any mental health issues at all by saying essentially, well it’s just life. However, I do believe it is human nature. The media, as well as social media, may  make us even harder on ourselves. Listening to armchair/wannabe therapists. Even our well meaning friends and family who think they know what’s best for you, or worse yet, tell you to just breath, smile,  to snap out of it, or “just…..” as if it’s so easy, or a choice. 

In my personal life, the darkest lowest times are what brought me to the best times. I can see it clearly now. At the lowest times I was suicidal, fearful and barely able to function. I would have been so happy to skip those days/years, but those times were a catalyst, a stepping stone, something I absolutely had to go through to get to where I am now, only now I can see that. 

Not only can I appreciate the light after being in the dark, but I’m better able to be a voice and an ear for those who need it. I have the heart, the empathy and true understanding that I may not have had if I didn’t go through my own traumatic events. No two people, no two lives are the same, and although the things I’ve been through may not be the same as you, I know how it feels to feel broken.  

I  now trust that everything happens in its own right timing because of this. Like the fruit on the tree, the baby chick in the egg, the flower bud etc….. If you try to bring it to fruition too early, it won’t be as good. (yes I love  metaphors – I really do) 

The success of any kind of therapy, or mental health treatment is more of a guidance, a bridge to help you cross those troubled waters. However, as I’ve mentioned before, success is dependent on you. It’s something you have to be committed to, and not believe that anything or anyone is magic or has that ability to just “fix” you. 

At the very least it does take some commitment and desire to change, which can be scary, but to want something different even if you don’t know what that is, to want something different more than you want to stay where you are in your mind, or life.

You can go get your car fixed, but I will gladly guide you to your personal breakthrough so you can use the obstacles as stepping stones. 

I love hearing from you all, I’d love to hear what you thought of this article, or others. Any questions or concerns, or suggestions for other articles, please feel free to reach out anytime!  You can use the contact form on the home page, HypnoBreakthrough.com or email directly at Pamela@hypnoBreakthrough.com

Thank you so much for being here. 

Pamela CHt. 

HypnoBreakthrough.com

Living Your Best Life.

What does this really mean? Living your best life, living life to the fullest, or to your highest potential. Can you envision this for yourself? How would that look if you were living your best life? Does it all just sound somewhat meaningless, cliche or vague?

We all have a story. 

We all have a story that has kept us from living our best life. We have all been down at some point. We can point to a time that was the worst or the lowest point in our lives.

If you don’t have a story such as this, you are probably under 30 years old. I’ll tell you though, as a woman in my 50’s, when I was in my 30’s, I thought I had a story of my lowest point, but that was nothing. It changes, as you live and age and experience life. This isn’t meant to be depressing. This is about transformation, not giving up and having hope. 

Learning to say “no” to what isn’t right for you, setting boundaries, learning from mistakes or regrets in life. There are some who latch on to their worst time in their life story, and relive it, over and over, making it their identity. Stuck in this revolving door of “if only”, with regrets, or a feeling that this is just how it is now. 

If we can step back from this story, and yes, it’s good and helpful to acknowledge, share and speak up about our story for many reasons,  but if we can step back, look at the lessons, what do I have to learn from this?Where can I do better now? What changes can I make, no matter how small – gratitude journal, drinking more water, getting in touch with an old friend, cleaning out a closet or just allow ourselves to daydream of something better etc. We will begin to become unstuck. We will begin to move ahead and live, rather than just exist, stuck and not really living. 

“Never Give Up!” 

I do believe that we need to keep on pushing through and not give up on life. However,  I think many interpret this as, not giving up on something (or someone) that clearly isn’t working in your life. Learn to know when enough is enough, when it’s time to let go and move on. By sticking in a toxic situation or working so hard at a goal or dream that you are beating yourself up daily over not attaining it yet,  you are giving up on life, on living each day in peace and with joy. 

Sometimes a dream, a goal isn’t meant to happen until later in life. Sometimes more experience or education is needed,  or something else needs to happen first, to be  cleared away, to open that door or clear that path of the obstacles. 

I’ve had this experience in my own life with hypnotherapy. I started 10 years ago and was pretty disappointed that it never came to be, and was stuck  with a career that wasn’t a good fit for me. I now realize after all I’ve been through in the 10 years, I am much better prepared and ready to do what I do now so much better than I would have been if it happened as planned 10 years ago. Also trying to save a marriage that eventually almost ended my life. 

See, sometimes you do need to give up, let go, move on. What is meant to be will in the end, I truly believe this. 

Feeling alive.

Living your best life is feeling alive.  Living and not just existing. Living your best life is being excited about life. Looking forward to something, enjoying most of your days. This doesn’t mean every day is an adventure, although for some it may, but if you enjoy your day, are pleased with your life, even the daily mundane things; I love my living room rug, furniture and wall art, they bring me peace, and are aesthetically pleasing. I love my husband, and truly enjoy his company and sharing a life with him. When I go about my day I’m happy about the things in it. I have hobbies I enjoy and cute pets. I feel I’m living my best life, because of these little things that bring me joy daily, and because I do have plans for the future and take time to visualize these as if they are here now. 

I’m excited for my future, even in my 50’s. I don’t mind if I have an off day, it doesn’t feel good at the time, but I can take the day to relax and rejuvenate, and I’m so thankful I have the freedom to do that. So do I consider that I’m living my best life? Absolutely. 

I know there are ups and downs. I have a story as I’ve mentioned I have had a time in my life not only taking it one day at a time, but one moment at a time, and I’m still here. I knew, or at least had hope, that it would change. I didn’t give up on life, even though I knew I had to give up on my life as it was, as I knew it at certain times, in the long run, my life is much better. The dream that I thought was gone and I wasn’t going to be able to make happen in this life, is unfolding now. It showed up clearly for me at the right time, and other new amazing things that I could never have dreamed up. This is living my best life. 

I believe we all have this within us. If you are feeling depressed or anxious or just stuck just existing, and not really fully living, hypnotherapy is one way to help you get unstuck. Breakthrough Hypnotherapy will help you dig deep within and release those blocks and limiting beliefs, to help you move forward, finally free to live your life to the fullest, to your highest potential. Live your best life!

Yes you! If you can’t even imagine “living your best life” let me help you find it within yourself. 

The consultations for Breakthrough Hypnotherapy are always no-cost and no-obligation, and upon request will include a sample basic overall well being session to see if it’s right for you. Please always feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns. Or just share your thoughts on this article or others. You can use the contact form on the homepage, or email directly. 

I’m always happy to hear from you. 

Pamela CHt

Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com

What is the Domino effect of mental health?

The domino effect as we know, is a metaphor to describe how one thing leads to another.  One block falls over, and causes the rest to fall. 

People will often come to me overwhelmed. Listing many issues and wondering if their difficulties are too big, or too many to be helped by hypnotherapy. Sometimes they will tell me one minor issue, which is just a symptom of something deeper. 

 It can be an event in life that leads to this symptom and then that leads to another …. and so on and so forth. Oftentimes there is childhood trauma, an event, experience or even words spoken to a child, that would not ordinarily be considered trauma, which can lead to mental health issues as they grow into adulthood. Then possibly escalate over time, knocking down one block after the other. 

This then can then blow up or build up, to bigger issues in adulthood. You may not even realize this is related. The subconscious stores all the life events, that consciously we may not even be aware of. There are too many possible examples to mention.  

However, Hypnotherapy will help release blocks, obstacles, and limiting beliefs caused by these life events. Hypnotherapy is a straight pathway to the subconscious, bypassing the conscious mind, going deep within to release what needs to be released. You may even be surprised that other areas of your life are improving, having breakthroughs you did not even expect. 

Hypnotherapy is not magic, although it can feel that way. Depending on the severity of the issues, it may take some time. Some issues may also need the help of a medical doctor or psychiatrist. Hypnotherapy is a great place to start and is very helpful as a  complementary modality for these deeper, more severe issues. 

You do not even have to have any major issues, or know what they are,  to feel the benefits of hypnotherapy. I offer one complimentary sample session to get a feel for how hypnotherapy works. I believe just about everyone could benefit from hypnotherapy. It’s really a shame that many people are afraid to try it, or have a fear of hypnotherapy, mainly caused by the media. I addressed this in a previous article; Why is there a stigma about Hypnotherapy

Please always feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns, or just your thoughts on this, or other articles on the website. I love to hear from you. You can reach me by using the contact form on the home page, text anytime at all 916-400-0889 or email Pamela@HypnoBreakthrough.com 

Consultations are always free of charge with no obligation. Your information is never shared in any way. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Pamela CHt